Restless days, restless nights. Can't study, but sleep all the time. I was wondering what was wrong with me. Why can't I function normally? Sitting in the bus today (gee, I seem to be getting all this while getting to a destination), I realised, my inablity to worship God as much as I used to, is really making me, topsy turvy.
Just like everything on earth, we are built for purpose. One is worship and glorify God, and the second one I believe, is carrying out His work, His purposes for us. If we fail lto do both, we feel, inadequate. We feel, something's not quite right. That's how I felt. Squirmy. Unworthy. When we fail to respond to God's calling, something inside of us dies.
I believe that I'm here in Canada for a reason, I'm here to do something for God, not myself. Be a doctor? Maybe. Gain exp? Maybe. Be God's influence? Most certainly. God promises abundance of wealth, but in this context, it's not getting riches, big mansions, and most stylish cars. I believe, this wealth is greater than any of those. The knowledge that you are fulfilling your purpose, and that you aren't a bum. Haha. It makes sense doesn't it? God pruning those branches that are not productive? It's when you fulfill the purposes of God, the ones He meant for you, you finally feel your worth.
Praise be to God, let every part of my body, every bone, every tissue, every cell, be for the purpose of God, and let them all rejoice always in the Lord!!!!!
Thursday, January 12, 2006
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1 comment:
ian, i don't enjoy telling people that i've drifted away, but i am also finding my way back to God and His purpose. It's been 1 month and I've thought I was ok till I started worshipping with the guitar one day and it was like I was doing it for the first time. Which makes me suspect I've been going away since I came, and which drives me back to Him now. Purpose? You bet. It's essential.
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