when you no longer are yourself

No. This is not one of my emotional blogs. I'm not talking about personalities today. I'm talking about the mind.

A visit to some homes for the elderly and those with special needs raised an impt question in my mind today, which would you rather get? Dementia or cancer?
To lose one's mind and not no it, is scary. But at the same time, to have something eat you alive isn't the most exciting thing either. So, which would I rather? I rather not lose my mind and lose myself.

I was a little grieved, looking at pictures in the patients room. The life they use to have. If anything at all, my mind is what I am. I mean, every part of me is important. To lose functions of my body but have only my mind left, is also bad, but to totally lose your personality. If at all, any of your relatives try to converse with you, your loved ones, your response will only be a grunt or a 'eh' or something that's least intelligable. To not even know that you are in a childlike state.

Don't get me wrong, I do not pity these ppl. It's not that I'm evil. I just look at it at a different way. I respect them really. Because, I know I'm a coward. And if I knew that I was going to spend the rest of my years just sitting in a home, with my mind wandering and day after day, I can only sit and stare at the TV or at the wall, I would end my life first.

So, for all those folks out there who are dealing with dementia, my respects to you. May God bless you and shine on your face.