Today, after speaking with someone today, I totally got irked and said good bye to that person, never wanting to speak to that person ever again. If you are that person reading this now, I'm sorry, I still don't have the patience to talk to you.
Yes. I'm angry. I'm flustered. I'm boiling. I'm peeved. I'm whatever words you want to insert to say, I'm not just the least bit angry, but I'm FURIOUS.
This was a guy, that I should be a good example to, but today, I couldn't. I lost it. I lost it because I felt that this particular person was being testy. Being beyond saucy. Just plain rude and inconsiderate. Look, if my intentions were to help you, were a bit too blunt with the words, I'm apologize, but to go as far as saying something which shows how much you know me, really peeved me.
Yes. I was called an American worshipper. WHERE IN THE WORLD DID THAT COME FROM? The guy who supports England in soccer (and even that was made fun of), is called an American worshipper? WOW.
$%%*%^*&^%*&^... yes put in your own obscenities there.
Regretfully, I no longer want to be an example for this particular person. I cannot. I feel that this person is JUST testing my limits. And today, those boundaries exist no more. From now on, you can say what you want, do as you please. It will have no more effect on me anymore, because I feel, it's too much to have expectations for you.
As hurting as this is to say, I have zero expectations for you. Do as you please. Insult as you want. Hit and run me over with a truck. It's okay. When there's no expectations, you won't feel betrayed, you won't feel insulted, you won't be angry.
Peace.
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4 comments:
ouch. those words hurt. dude man. you gotta do something with your anger. try knitting. or crochetting. or lawn bowling. or baseball... americans love that. jokes. just trying to lighten the mood.
i'm in the same boat...one of my group members for the installation project really got to me...being quite manipulative and negative towards me and my group members. the title 'bigger person' is what i reminded myself to be...sadly the project isn't over...i think we all live with those people around us...we all have to deal with such periodically, it reminds us this world isn't such a great place after all...err...
yes. to be the bigger person. once again. i really do want to. and i know i'm giving an excuse saying this, because holding on to this any longer than i am, wil be useless. but at the same time, forgiving and restoring the relationship back to normal? i find that impossible, especially when the other party does nothing.
american worshipper?! o_O"
forgiving is one thing, forgetting is another. if there's no way for the relationship to go back to how it used to be, then just forgive him and never let it peeve you again.
being the bigger person is not just about forgiving...that was what i was trying to tell you the last time. it's also about gaining the ability to not let petty things piss you off again.
a bigger person would not let small people and small words get to him anymore.
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