3.5 years of med school (4 if you want to count the 6 months of holidays I had while waiting to come abroad), and here I am. Devoid of most of my basic medical science, fighting to remember my clinical sciences, and what to do best once I figure out, the diagnosis for the patient. Now, I blame myself for such small brain, and the inability to store all the information I would like.
But that, is certainly beside the point isn't it? If I am able to diagnose correctly and treat accordingly, doing no harm in the process, I should be happy, or should I?
After a whole day of just snoozing (no idea as to why I'm so tired and am requiring more and more sleep this days - depression? haha), I find myself way behind schedule and unable to remember a lot of things I have supposedly studied.
I have no idea where this blog is going. Perhaps this one is my venting point. I remember waking up a few times and attempting to study today, but concentration evaded me, and sleep beckoned. And like the song of the siren that led sailors to their doom, I feel sleep is my end. So frustrated with myself, I went to work out to throughly channel all my distractions through the workout. It kinda worked out. I did a good few hours and here I am, at the end of my day, writing this down, before I go to sleep again.
I don't know what's wrong with me these days. I feel more at edge. Is it because I'm unable to study? Or is it just plain old me coming back? The worst fear I have, is I've forgotten my purpose.
To study to treat patients, or to study to pass my exams. One without the other is a failure. Which way do I go?
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4 comments:
I believe that this is called burning-out. Take care of yourself man...
ya anna. i'm truly burnt out. it's the end.. need to persevere
is it because you are in st. john's. "lonely i'm so lonely,i have nobody..." as akon might say. he he he.
I knew the feeling when I first went away from home. Maybe it is a great time to do some things that you never had time before (or used the excuse that you never had time before)? ;) Like inductive Bible study, reading a good book, starting a hobby...
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