It hurts sometimes to think, that one may not be as special as they think they are, that if there were a pick to be made for that PE game, you'd be last, and NOBODY truly wants to be last.
It hurts to see people get chosen for great things, and to think that you are sidelined only because you never hear back, and you assume that that's the end.
It's bad when we hope for something so much, and it never comes, then we question if we should ever hope some more, if all is doom and gloom.
However, I think what hurts more, is the fact that we let these things get to us, that we rather wallow in our own pity, that we do not do more, but merely sit and wait, and hope for good things to come. We forget that sometimes we have poor intentions, that we seek to glorify ourselves than to glorify the one that we are supposed to. We forget to be dependent, and we try to be independent, seeking to do all things in our own strength, our intelligence and dilligence.
When did we forget about looking at the big picture, and started focusing on the small picture, which is ourselves?
I guess today, when a friend told me about being prophesied again, I was jealous. I never had any prophesies at all. Took me a few good minutes to realize, that I don't know truly what God's plan is, but I would have to just trust and obey, not blindly but by faith, and continue to be totally dependent on Him. So quick am I jealous when I feel like God's not speaking to me, imagine what He feels? (haha, sorry God! I'll do better :p )
Monday, April 30, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
the world, which we call for freedom of choice
More discussion about this freedom which we so zealously fight for, and so valiantly proclaim when we feel another wrongs us. Unfortunately, we fail to see, that this freedom comes with a high price, a price we probably don't mind paying, because in the small picture, it benefits us, but in the larger picture, we lose so much from it.
This is US today: the generation that wants to be free, including free from making a choice. Nothing is absolute, and nothing is fixed. Everything can be questioned and everything can be wrong. Trust nothing but your own self, because all others may be wrong. This are probably slogans chanted every single day, in hopes that one will not be dragged down by the 'rules' of religion or culture.
This is an interesting description of (probably the youth) the generation today by G.K Chesterton:
The new rebel is a skeptic and will not entirely trust anything. He has no loyalty; therefore, he can never be really a revolutionist. And the fact that he doubts everything really gets in his way when he wants to denounce anything. For all denunciation implies a moral doctrine of some kind and the modern revolutionist doubts not only the institution he denounces, but the doctrine by which he denounces it. Thus, he write some book complaining that imperial oppression insults the purity of women, and then he writes another book, a novel, in which he insults it himself. He curses the Sultan because Christian girls lose their virginity, and then he curses Mrs. Grundy because they keep it. As a politician he will cry out that war is a waste of life, and then as a philosopher that all life is a waste of time. A Russian pessimist will denounce a policeman for killing a peasant, and then prove by the highest philosophical principles that the peasant ought to have killed himself. A man denounces marriage as a lie and then denounces aristocratic profligates for treating it as a lie. He calls a flag a bauble and then blames the oppressors of Poland or Ireland because they take away that bauble. The man of this school goes first to a political meeting, where he complains that savages are treated as if they were beasts. Then he takes his hat and umbrella and goes on to a scientific meeting where he proves that they practically are beasts. In short, the modern revolutionist, being an infinite skeptic, is always encouraged in undermining his own mind. In his book on politics he attacks men for trampling on morality, and in his book on ethnics he attacks morality for trampling on men. Therefore the modern man in revolt has become practically useless for all purposes of revolt. By rebelling against everything he has lost his right to rebel against anything.
~ excerpt from Ravi Zacharias' Deliver Us from Evil
The problem today is many want to live by their own ideas. The ability to challenge everything gives one no responsiblity, not having to answer to anyone about anything. The idea of relativity gives one so much control (or at least the feeling that they are), that no one can challenge their position, because they have the right to ask back, and poke holes at any structure that may 'endanger' them.
This is US today: the generation that wants to be free, including free from making a choice. Nothing is absolute, and nothing is fixed. Everything can be questioned and everything can be wrong. Trust nothing but your own self, because all others may be wrong. This are probably slogans chanted every single day, in hopes that one will not be dragged down by the 'rules' of religion or culture.
This is an interesting description of (probably the youth) the generation today by G.K Chesterton:
The new rebel is a skeptic and will not entirely trust anything. He has no loyalty; therefore, he can never be really a revolutionist. And the fact that he doubts everything really gets in his way when he wants to denounce anything. For all denunciation implies a moral doctrine of some kind and the modern revolutionist doubts not only the institution he denounces, but the doctrine by which he denounces it. Thus, he write some book complaining that imperial oppression insults the purity of women, and then he writes another book, a novel, in which he insults it himself. He curses the Sultan because Christian girls lose their virginity, and then he curses Mrs. Grundy because they keep it. As a politician he will cry out that war is a waste of life, and then as a philosopher that all life is a waste of time. A Russian pessimist will denounce a policeman for killing a peasant, and then prove by the highest philosophical principles that the peasant ought to have killed himself. A man denounces marriage as a lie and then denounces aristocratic profligates for treating it as a lie. He calls a flag a bauble and then blames the oppressors of Poland or Ireland because they take away that bauble. The man of this school goes first to a political meeting, where he complains that savages are treated as if they were beasts. Then he takes his hat and umbrella and goes on to a scientific meeting where he proves that they practically are beasts. In short, the modern revolutionist, being an infinite skeptic, is always encouraged in undermining his own mind. In his book on politics he attacks men for trampling on morality, and in his book on ethnics he attacks morality for trampling on men. Therefore the modern man in revolt has become practically useless for all purposes of revolt. By rebelling against everything he has lost his right to rebel against anything.
~ excerpt from Ravi Zacharias' Deliver Us from Evil
The problem today is many want to live by their own ideas. The ability to challenge everything gives one no responsiblity, not having to answer to anyone about anything. The idea of relativity gives one so much control (or at least the feeling that they are), that no one can challenge their position, because they have the right to ask back, and poke holes at any structure that may 'endanger' them.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
sometimes
sometimes a little peace is all you need, when you are in a crowd, lost and hopeless
but when that some time comes, and you are alone, you wished you were not, and hoped for company of friends.
sometimes, it's too noisy, you can't concentrate, you feel annoyed
then comes the time, when it's so quiet, even with the tv and music on simultaneously, nothing beats human noise and human company.
sometimes when faced with a loved one, you fail to say you loved them or tell them how much you enjoy their company because you were worried about what they'd think
it's funny then when that person is no more, because then you'd cry your eyes out, wishing you had only spend more time and said the things you wanted to say.
sometimes we are so engorged in our own righteousness and pride, so high up, htat we fail to see, that we step on ants and flowers, and we, in our own blindness are creating a path of destruction.
sometimes it's right in front of us, feign blindness, refusing no acknowledge because we believe in ourselves more than the person who's trying to guide us.
sometimes, there is no time, yet we think we will always be able to buy ourselves time.
we forget. the clock is ticking. clockwise, never the other way.
when will we come to see and listen? maybe sometime soon. hopefully sometime soon.
but when that some time comes, and you are alone, you wished you were not, and hoped for company of friends.
sometimes, it's too noisy, you can't concentrate, you feel annoyed
then comes the time, when it's so quiet, even with the tv and music on simultaneously, nothing beats human noise and human company.
sometimes when faced with a loved one, you fail to say you loved them or tell them how much you enjoy their company because you were worried about what they'd think
it's funny then when that person is no more, because then you'd cry your eyes out, wishing you had only spend more time and said the things you wanted to say.
sometimes we are so engorged in our own righteousness and pride, so high up, htat we fail to see, that we step on ants and flowers, and we, in our own blindness are creating a path of destruction.
sometimes it's right in front of us, feign blindness, refusing no acknowledge because we believe in ourselves more than the person who's trying to guide us.
sometimes, there is no time, yet we think we will always be able to buy ourselves time.
we forget. the clock is ticking. clockwise, never the other way.
when will we come to see and listen? maybe sometime soon. hopefully sometime soon.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
...
i'm tired
i need rest
i give up
just for the next few days
i really need to carry a lighter yolk
rest
rest
rest
i'm tired...
i need rest
i give up
just for the next few days
i really need to carry a lighter yolk
rest
rest
rest
i'm tired...
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
days when u just do not want to talk
I find the internet, sometimes a very weird place. Words are miscontrued, and because one may not be able to read the other's body language, lots of misunderstanding can happen.
A simple smiley :) can mean, happy, can mean cheeky, can mean I'm just smiling because I refuse to respond, it can mean I'm just daydreaming and smiling blankly, or I'm angry but I don't want you to know and the internet is making it all the easier.
:)
I hate it when people are mislead by things I say. Honestly, I say things mostly the way they are. I wasn't always like this, but more and more held on to this principle after I met a 'no bulls***-pull-out-all-guns-and-shooot-away' kind of friend. I then tried to hold true to being very straightforward with as many things when I want to convey.
ENOUGH I say, of being worried about what one has to think about me. (Yes, that tends to still happen eventhough I don't show it). Enough of doing something only to please others, or hoping for other ppl to fulfil your expectations.
UGH. Why do I even bother sometimes?
Oh, in btwn, I meant to warn you that this is a RANT.
Not.
:)
A simple smiley :) can mean, happy, can mean cheeky, can mean I'm just smiling because I refuse to respond, it can mean I'm just daydreaming and smiling blankly, or I'm angry but I don't want you to know and the internet is making it all the easier.
:)
I hate it when people are mislead by things I say. Honestly, I say things mostly the way they are. I wasn't always like this, but more and more held on to this principle after I met a 'no bulls***-pull-out-all-guns-and-shooot-away' kind of friend. I then tried to hold true to being very straightforward with as many things when I want to convey.
ENOUGH I say, of being worried about what one has to think about me. (Yes, that tends to still happen eventhough I don't show it). Enough of doing something only to please others, or hoping for other ppl to fulfil your expectations.
UGH. Why do I even bother sometimes?
Oh, in btwn, I meant to warn you that this is a RANT.
Not.
:)
Thursday, April 12, 2007
what we want
Currently reading Mitch Albom's Tuesdays with Morrie. Also reading Deliver Us From Evil by Ravi Zacharias. Yes. I know. Bad. I prob might have to read the latter again, seeing that it needs much more concentration than Tuesdays.
Tuesdays basically talks about appreciating life better, taking each day and making it your best. I kindd of get how my sister says that the book is 'preachy'. I would almost agree, except that its values are of the world and not of God. It has multiple short chapters, each on a different subject. So far I've read, discussion about the world today, pity for oneself, death, family, emotions, fear of againg and money. Each is put into the perspective of basically, a dying man. How not everything is an important is it used to be, simply because, one comes to realization, that man can never leave earth with his property. He carries nothing but his soul. I agree on that, but Morrie's thoughts end only with life. That there is no more to life, than enjoying it, and fulfilling it, as if it were a moral obligation. Maybe the ending is not what I think it is, but right now? It really appears that Morrie is merely saying, there is a good reason for doing good, which is there is no reason at all to do something bad. It's no use being fearful of death, because the preoccupation of it will rob you of your time left. We don't need a ton of property, cars, gadgets because at the end of the day, having it all, but not love or companionship, it means nothing. But giving, giving others will be fulfilling. Or so preaches a lot of religions with giving can satisfy the soul.
Is a new phone, a new car, a new gadget really all that important? I know this premise has been explored before multiple times. Honestly, I never used to comprehend, any of it. It's like a moral value that made sense, but didn't seem quite practical. Often, I found myself saying, that may be for some people, but I just simply need these things. Of course, there's not denying too, some of you that are reading this post, may be scratching your head and wondering, what's this kid whining about?
My conclusion is this, if we live life just so that it turns out good, or so that we do things to satisfy our soul, we will never be truly satisfied. I don't think. Some may beg to differ, and will chase that particular something till their demise. Fine.
All I want to say is this, there is nothing that satisfies like Jesus. There's is not one single thing that completes me like God and there will never be anything that will fill me completely, like the Holy Spirit. (Yes, again with this msg!).
Tuesdays basically talks about appreciating life better, taking each day and making it your best. I kindd of get how my sister says that the book is 'preachy'. I would almost agree, except that its values are of the world and not of God. It has multiple short chapters, each on a different subject. So far I've read, discussion about the world today, pity for oneself, death, family, emotions, fear of againg and money. Each is put into the perspective of basically, a dying man. How not everything is an important is it used to be, simply because, one comes to realization, that man can never leave earth with his property. He carries nothing but his soul. I agree on that, but Morrie's thoughts end only with life. That there is no more to life, than enjoying it, and fulfilling it, as if it were a moral obligation. Maybe the ending is not what I think it is, but right now? It really appears that Morrie is merely saying, there is a good reason for doing good, which is there is no reason at all to do something bad. It's no use being fearful of death, because the preoccupation of it will rob you of your time left. We don't need a ton of property, cars, gadgets because at the end of the day, having it all, but not love or companionship, it means nothing. But giving, giving others will be fulfilling. Or so preaches a lot of religions with giving can satisfy the soul.
Is a new phone, a new car, a new gadget really all that important? I know this premise has been explored before multiple times. Honestly, I never used to comprehend, any of it. It's like a moral value that made sense, but didn't seem quite practical. Often, I found myself saying, that may be for some people, but I just simply need these things. Of course, there's not denying too, some of you that are reading this post, may be scratching your head and wondering, what's this kid whining about?
My conclusion is this, if we live life just so that it turns out good, or so that we do things to satisfy our soul, we will never be truly satisfied. I don't think. Some may beg to differ, and will chase that particular something till their demise. Fine.
All I want to say is this, there is nothing that satisfies like Jesus. There's is not one single thing that completes me like God and there will never be anything that will fill me completely, like the Holy Spirit. (Yes, again with this msg!).
Sunday, April 08, 2007
relativity part 2
It's really easy to not live with absolute truths, simply because one may be able to justify his/her means with the situation.
I lied because if I didn't, things might have gotten worse.
I cheated in the test only because if I failed, I would lose my scholarship, and my family cannot afford that.
Perhaps these aren't the best of ideas, BUT, I hope you understand what I'm trying to put through.
Now the idea of relaative truth is so dangerous, simply because there can be no end to questions, and no end to possibilities. Simply put, as we cannot limit ourselves (and some might say, why would we limit ourselves?), we can go anywhere, and do as we please.
The most popular question I get from someone who refuses to believe that God is real, that he idea of 'God' is relative to only what we know now. As in all other things, as we move along and we discover more things, we will discover through science or whichever study, that throughly there is more than just a simple explaination that we are created than a higher being.
Honesly, sometimes, I don't know how to answer that. I remember even giving examples, like there are certain things that we know is the absolute truth, things like the world is round (or oval, whichever), or that in 1 minute there is 60 seconds. Of course, the arguement then comes, well, once upon a time, people thought the world to be flat, and thought that was absolute truth, so how exactly would we know that the world is oval (eventhough we've seen it from outer space?).
Now, that is a very dangerous statement. Why? Simply because if one chooses to even challenge the things before their very eyes, and can even have the audacity of saying it is relative, then nothing can be the truth. Then, I believe, there is no point in living, if everything is a lie, and everything is just a trick of the eye. Why would anyone want to live such conceited lives of deceit? Lying to others is one thing, but to deny oneself of the truth by claiming that everything else is relative, is just plain nonsensical.
Soon, one might as well question if their parents were truly their parents.
Relavtivity, in my opinion, is selfish, as one only choose want they want to know, or what they want to hear. It's for people who want to feel good about themselves, or make themselves feel good. AND, it's the only thing that's stopping them from doing what is right.
Next post: pluralization.
I lied because if I didn't, things might have gotten worse.
I cheated in the test only because if I failed, I would lose my scholarship, and my family cannot afford that.
Perhaps these aren't the best of ideas, BUT, I hope you understand what I'm trying to put through.
Now the idea of relaative truth is so dangerous, simply because there can be no end to questions, and no end to possibilities. Simply put, as we cannot limit ourselves (and some might say, why would we limit ourselves?), we can go anywhere, and do as we please.
The most popular question I get from someone who refuses to believe that God is real, that he idea of 'God' is relative to only what we know now. As in all other things, as we move along and we discover more things, we will discover through science or whichever study, that throughly there is more than just a simple explaination that we are created than a higher being.
Honesly, sometimes, I don't know how to answer that. I remember even giving examples, like there are certain things that we know is the absolute truth, things like the world is round (or oval, whichever), or that in 1 minute there is 60 seconds. Of course, the arguement then comes, well, once upon a time, people thought the world to be flat, and thought that was absolute truth, so how exactly would we know that the world is oval (eventhough we've seen it from outer space?).
Now, that is a very dangerous statement. Why? Simply because if one chooses to even challenge the things before their very eyes, and can even have the audacity of saying it is relative, then nothing can be the truth. Then, I believe, there is no point in living, if everything is a lie, and everything is just a trick of the eye. Why would anyone want to live such conceited lives of deceit? Lying to others is one thing, but to deny oneself of the truth by claiming that everything else is relative, is just plain nonsensical.
Soon, one might as well question if their parents were truly their parents.
Relavtivity, in my opinion, is selfish, as one only choose want they want to know, or what they want to hear. It's for people who want to feel good about themselves, or make themselves feel good. AND, it's the only thing that's stopping them from doing what is right.
Next post: pluralization.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
the day of love and being loved.
It was my birthday just not too long ago. Yes, I've turned 24. However, this blog is not about my birthday.
It's more about God's love for me. Well, not specifically just me, but for everyone.
I don't think many of us really appreciate the fact that He does love us. People often think, "Yeah, I know God loves me", but honestly, do we really know? Do we really think about what happened at the cross about 2 centuries ago? Or do we say we know, but not feel?
To know that Christ carried all our sins and all our burdens via dolorosa, took each thing that made us feel unwanted, not needed, and made it into hope. He suffered so we did not. He hung on that tree, so that we will never ever have to face the Judge and account for our sins. And in each moment, breathless, He intercessed for everyone of us, with the knowledge of that some of us may even reject Him, or ignore Him.
How can I not be of any love if God has so much for me? Can I ever say that I cannot love others because NO ONE loves me?
1 John 4:19 We loved because He first loved.
I have to keep that in mind. It's so hard though.
Have to love others.
Have to love others.
Have to love others.
It's more about God's love for me. Well, not specifically just me, but for everyone.
I don't think many of us really appreciate the fact that He does love us. People often think, "Yeah, I know God loves me", but honestly, do we really know? Do we really think about what happened at the cross about 2 centuries ago? Or do we say we know, but not feel?
To know that Christ carried all our sins and all our burdens via dolorosa, took each thing that made us feel unwanted, not needed, and made it into hope. He suffered so we did not. He hung on that tree, so that we will never ever have to face the Judge and account for our sins. And in each moment, breathless, He intercessed for everyone of us, with the knowledge of that some of us may even reject Him, or ignore Him.
How can I not be of any love if God has so much for me? Can I ever say that I cannot love others because NO ONE loves me?
1 John 4:19 We loved because He first loved.
I have to keep that in mind. It's so hard though.
Have to love others.
Have to love others.
Have to love others.
Monday, April 02, 2007
relativity part 1
Relativity is such an interesting topic to talk about. Having discussed it over with a few people recently, and reading a book that talks about the corruption of today's morals, I can see more and more how relativity can be so dangerous.
It has been compared to the frog that has been placed in cold water put to boil slowly. It won't know it's too hot for itself until it's too late.
In modern day society, we want rules to govern certain things, to keep our property safe, to make sure we are not total barbarians. But soon enough we turn on this rules. Changes are made to suit today, because after all, certain things are not as 'wrong' or as 'scary' as once perceived.
It's okay to do a certain something ONLY because it is not as bad as this other thing.
The famous few lines are always: I'm not killing anyone, no one is getting hurt, I'm not stealing or robbing someone, hence it can't be bad right?
Because everything is made relative to another, it's acceptable. It's okay. No one should rot in hell for something as small as cheating the company's money. After all, the company is making millions, what's wrong if one were to take only 100k? (I wanted to use more drastic examples but decided against it)
There is more about relativity that I want to talk about. The next blog? Will be on: there is not absolute truth.
It has been compared to the frog that has been placed in cold water put to boil slowly. It won't know it's too hot for itself until it's too late.
In modern day society, we want rules to govern certain things, to keep our property safe, to make sure we are not total barbarians. But soon enough we turn on this rules. Changes are made to suit today, because after all, certain things are not as 'wrong' or as 'scary' as once perceived.
It's okay to do a certain something ONLY because it is not as bad as this other thing.
The famous few lines are always: I'm not killing anyone, no one is getting hurt, I'm not stealing or robbing someone, hence it can't be bad right?
Because everything is made relative to another, it's acceptable. It's okay. No one should rot in hell for something as small as cheating the company's money. After all, the company is making millions, what's wrong if one were to take only 100k? (I wanted to use more drastic examples but decided against it)
There is more about relativity that I want to talk about. The next blog? Will be on: there is not absolute truth.
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