it hurts

It hurts sometimes to think, that one may not be as special as they think they are, that if there were a pick to be made for that PE game, you'd be last, and NOBODY truly wants to be last.
It hurts to see people get chosen for great things, and to think that you are sidelined only because you never hear back, and you assume that that's the end.
It's bad when we hope for something so much, and it never comes, then we question if we should ever hope some more, if all is doom and gloom.

However, I think what hurts more, is the fact that we let these things get to us, that we rather wallow in our own pity, that we do not do more, but merely sit and wait, and hope for good things to come. We forget that sometimes we have poor intentions, that we seek to glorify ourselves than to glorify the one that we are supposed to. We forget to be dependent, and we try to be independent, seeking to do all things in our own strength, our intelligence and dilligence.

When did we forget about looking at the big picture, and started focusing on the small picture, which is ourselves?

I guess today, when a friend told me about being prophesied again, I was jealous. I never had any prophesies at all. Took me a few good minutes to realize, that I don't know truly what God's plan is, but I would have to just trust and obey, not blindly but by faith, and continue to be totally dependent on Him. So quick am I jealous when I feel like God's not speaking to me, imagine what He feels? (haha, sorry God! I'll do better :p )