Normalizing

Today, wasn't exactly the best day of my life. For the first time ever, a patient passed away in front of me. He was just 10, with a lifetime ahead of him, if only he had survived today.
Mother was distraught, in tears and could only tell him how much she loved him, eventhough he can never hear her voice again. His grandparents were there, his grandfather trembling upon sight of his grandson. Imagine all those memories of playing with his grandson, watching him grow up, hearing him laugh. It's all gone now. His father was away at that time. I could only try to imagine how his father's reaction would be once he gets the phone call.
The staff was in tears too, not the doctors, but the nurses. I was fighting the tears. I swallowed each wave of sadness. I didn't want to be overcome by feelings of inadequecy. In all that I could not do. I was trying so hard not to wail right at that moment. I knew if I did, I would open the flood gates.

So what now for the boy's parents and grandparents? His family members? How do they go on without him? Imagine having to go home one day expecting to talk to your son or to play with him, and find that the seat on the dining table is empty.
Silence entails the dinner. No one speaks for the next few days.

As corny as it sounds, the only way I could normalize this was to tell myself, this is why you have to be a great doctor who knows his things in and out. No other way. I want to be able to help change lives of ppl as much as I can. Whether to cure or to improve, I'll try my best.

I hope the kid's soul rest in peace, and he be with God rite now.