Sitting in my parents room (because that's where the internet is). Thinking of what to write. Stacey Kent crooning in the background while I type away.
Just 2 weeks here in Malaysia, and I already want to leave. I cannot help buy find fault in every thing I see. Sad this is, because it really seems like I'm an ungrateful citizen of a country that has provided a place for me to stay and grow up. It nearly sounds as if I'm a greedy person, and will always look some where else because the grass REALLY does seem greener on the other side.
Anyhow, I have been given a great opportunity to meet up with old acquintances, good friends and ex classmates. Times have truly changed, and relationships have truly been altered. Honestly, it's hard not to expect a good friend to sway away after my absence of 1.5 years, but one would expect the friend to hold on to a certain amount of friendship. Humph. I guess this is partially why I'm not so excited at all when I knew I was coming back. In my know-it-all, belief of being clairvoyant, I forsaw that it would be really akward meeting with people who after a while didn't really bother keeping in touch. Ah. It truly has become so.
Everyone busy with their own lives, only with enough time to meet up and talk superficially. Nothing too deep because there's not much in common anymore.
The pieces of jigsaw puzzle may fit together, but when held up, it will break, and the completeness is there no more. Only family that is important and the ones that can really be counted on. Even then sometimes, arguements get the better of us. Sigh. Doom gloom.
Happy chinese new year guys/gals. Hope it's a good one for everyone else.
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7 comments:
i love my country, but i cannot deny the greener grass in places overseas. i feel stifled here, and the thought of being stuck here for a long time horrifies me. yet, i am determined to make the grass here as green as possible anyway. what won't kill you will only make you stronger. =)
i can tell you this though, it's perfectly alright to see malaysia as inadequate but no matter what, this is where you're from and it IS ungrateful to be uppity about it just because you've been exposed to greener grass.
oo. ouch. ungrateful as it sounds, other than land to live on, what DID this country give my family and i?
free education, cheap food and relatively alot more peace to grow up in compared to plenty of places in the world. there may be economic injustice but even then, many people have managed to rise above that. also, try telling the govt servants that enjoy free/incredibly cheap medical services and (for now, anyway) pension that they're better off elsewhere.
besides, haven't you heard kennedy's "ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country"? there has to be a change of attitude among the youth in malaysia or this country is going to the dogs.
there is space for huge improvements but the mentality that "i will stay if THEY (being 'the govt') will make a change" is ridiculous. WE are the govt, WE vote them in, and WE, our generation, will form the govt in the very VERY near future.
ah. i do know that line of arguement. and i do know that line of thought.
there's a lot to be thankful for, and there's a lot to critisize. whichever pathway u take, there's always some sort of arguement that it is not the wisest or correct.
yes, i may appear snobbish in this post, stating that i may prefer the grass overseas. preference does not equate must, and hence there is not absolute certainty that i will ditch this country when the opportunity comes.
there's a fine line between wanting this country to change for the better and hoping. bold words u have stated about bringing change to this country. of course everyone knows, it is not menial task, and i ask of you, when the time comes, will u really take that step to do what is necessary to make those changes? i know if i stay, i would want to do something. my mentality is do something or shut up. so with that, i really do expect you in the near future to run for some sort of govt position, no? or do you feel u will have done merely enough by voting?
i applaud your altruistic notions. as for me, i have to choose, and i have not yet come to that point. i am not as clear as you are, and despite my many criticisms, i am still considering what is what, and how to do it. while it may seem that i only look so poorly at this country by naming all the cons, i do have all the pros in the back of my mind (making my question earlier of, what has this country really done for me, slightly rhetorical)
yes. ask what you can do for you country, and not the other way round. that moves a country forward and not breed contemptuous pigs.
but what is a world without its critics?
there are many other ways to change things rather than running for govt positions. i, for one, am not a politician. politics frustrates me. people at the top of things frustrate me. i plan to take action from the bottom, which is where i will definitely be at the start.
you don't need to pass laws to change people's attitudes.
i'm not saying that we should blindly love our country and serve the country "just because". neither am i saying that we should close one eye and not see that malaysia has a long long way to go. there's a reason why i miss singapore so much.
but don't criticise the country and then go make your money elsewhere. there's no one i hate more than people who write letters to our local newspapers from england, australia, north america stating what they dislike about malaysia and why they've decided to go overseas and stay there.
i can understand people wanting to have a better future for themselves and their children, but don't leave your country and then do nothing but complain when you come back.
no worries lishun. if i leave, i'll be sure to NOT write any letters home stating how bad the country is :) because simply by then, i won't be bothered. ;)
fair enough one does not have to run for a political position. but, this much i expect from you, taking appropriate actions to better this country. i expect in 30 years u will be doing the same, tirelessly. for you have said it, and be sure to keep your word, or else it won't count.
and lastly, before i stop replying all your responses abotu this matter totally, WHY in the blue world are u antagonizing me with all this msgs when i'm pretty sure i only said, i cannot help but find fault in every thing i see. did i make that many complaints? hmmm. more censorship in place? or am i accidentally brushing sensitive points here? ;)
hmm? the attacks were never personal. i have no vendetta against you or your very realistic and relevant view about malaysia being insufficient in many ways and it makes alot of sense to want a more comfortable life with more opportunities and less red tape.
however, the attitude alot of people have about just taking what the country has given us, running off, AND then saying "well, my country never did anything for me, it made my life miserable, i would have languished here if i stayed, thank goodness i'm smart enough to go elsewhere, my children wouldn't have such great opportunities if they grew up here, etc etc"...
that's what's causing the stagnation. we are the country. we are, somewhat, the government. whenever we blame others for our misfortunes, we're blaming ourselves and our attitudes.
so no, it's not an attack on you. you're much like everyone else, even myself. but i recognise a need for a change of attitude and i have every resolve to keep making that change.
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