Becoming of age, doesn't necessarily mean one is all grown up. Some say, when you are 23 you are an adult. Others say, when you finally make all your own decisions, you know you've grown up.
As my time as an undergraduate draws to an end (yes, it's my first degree, not second), I have to make numerous decisions on what to do next. Although my parents are still around to be consulted, I have this feeling that I should depend very much on myself and not await directions or orders. I have to decide on my own how to be responsible for myself. Yes, that's the biggest responsibility is that. If I'm going to start working, I have to treat what I do as something of utmost importance, giving my best to it, not to impress, but mainly due to the reason that IT IS MY JOB.
Finances will soon be managed by myself, and I have to learn to allocate my money wisely and not just on CDs, books and entertainment. I have to start to think ahead and not just of today and tomorrow.
As these thoughts run through my mind, I am afraid, I fear for my lack of capability to do such things. In other words, some days I just don't feel like growing up. I'm not here to study anymore (well, learning is a life process) but to learn how to make most of life.
Note: life isn't about being successful in your job, but I feel it is totally of GREAT importance to do the best in all that you do (although I am quite the slacker).
Ah, adulthood, here I come, with trembling hands and faltering feet. If I fall, I know it's not going to be into a gentle embrace. Hard fall, but good scars to remember my mistakes.
Sigh.
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3 comments:
i don't think our parents had any idea what they were doing when they first stepped into the working world either. ok, maybe cuz most of our parents had it much harder than we do now, they perhaps had a better idea than any of us at the moment.
however, it doesn't mean they didn't have anything to learn and didn't screw up along the way.
one thing that makes me less anxious about being a "real" adult is the times my mother and i had chatting about what she was like when she was my age. it's just that little bit more comforting when you realise that the parents you love and respect and revere as responsible adults that have successfully raised good kids and done generally well in life...they were once just like you.
have heart, strive on. and next time you'll have lots of stories to tell your kids.
when you read this 10 years from now, dont forget to laugh at yourself 10 years before, and worry about how you'll be 10 years down the line:-)
haha. how true jon. how true :)
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