moved...for now

I'm now here. For the time being... until I sort things out.

moving?

I may be moving...

Still flirting with the idea.

Any suggestions? Ideas? :)

oh. we do choose...

Choice choice choice choice choice.

I've said it over and over again, and I'll say it again. We always have a choice. ALWAYS.
If that didn't ring in LOUD and clear, here it goes again:

ALWAYS

We tend to forget many times, that we have a choice in everything we do. Past, present and future aside, in taking any steps, we are given a choice to follow.
The excuse, "but there wasn't any other way....", "I was too tempted...", "I wasn't given any other choice" is just plain weak.

Until the day your hands, legs, and body are tied to puppet strings, and is being controlled by a puppet master, please, PLEASE don't say, "I couldn't help myself".

I've made mistakes. Countless times.

I'm learning to not say I was forced into the circumstances. I made choices which I'm not proud of that led me to make that mistake. That won't be my last one.

BUT, as soon as I realize that I'm responsible for my mess, the sooner I work towards correcting it.

So please. I beg of you. Please don't blame the situation or surroundings you are in. Be responsible.

when choosing...

We all have a choice. We all have a part to play some way or another. However, we need to be willing first. Can we truly be used if we don't want to be used?

I believe everyone should be given a fair chance, and in that, a fair amount of help given and time. If one were to get more just because they did not want to budge in the first place, it's tough. Being merciful if one was not quick to adapt and needed some extra help, but is willing to go the extra mile just to improve, is a whole different story from one who doesn't want to be moved at all.

If there are two bulls in the field, given one is really strong, and has lots of potential to all the work in the field in half the time, versus another which wasn't as strong, but was very obedient, which would you pick? Especially when there is only a day to do the work, no one would half expect the farmer to soothe the bull and ease it into work. Rather than hope something could be done quickly, sure the most logical way out would be to pick the one that is easier to work with.

Sure. We can discuss about compassion, and that this kind of thinking lacks it, but coming back to the bull that has to work the field; if a dredge was attached to it, and it chose to go its own way, the whole field would be messed up.

If we are given important parts to play, and we choose not to follow, will the parts then come to succession into a bigger picture?

Obedience before sacrifice. The last will be the first. Pride to not yield will be opposed.

Will it not?

in good company

Ah. The smell of good company. Coffee that is. Blogging during lunch hour. What has become of my life?

This is what one can do, when lunch is over, and it's time to get back to the books. PLUS, there's so much political discussion going on in Malaysia/among Malaysians, I don't feel like the need to pile on to the existing amount of views and opinions.

So what can I blog on that my English doesn't rust and continue to deteriorate? (Reading medical books isn't the best source to improve English or learn new words, unless you consider volvulus or melena new words).
Blog about coffee.

Yes, I realize that the title is in good company. But truly, I am. Kenyan coffee beans, good music, and a stack of books. A small table lamp that lights up a portion of my dark room. What more can any normal (nerd) human being ask for?

Oh yeah.

I'm so coooooollllllllllllllll.......

Er hrm. Er. Back to the grind I s'pose.

From the adventures of coffee man and Kenyan beans ;)

the polling goes marching on.....

That's right. Parliament has been dissolved, which means...

it's time to vote a new government. That's right people. Time to use your privilege as a citizen to make a difference in this country.

I'm not going to blog much about why you should do it, or convince you in the best 10 reasons on the importance of voting, but as the idiom goes,

"A little goes a long way."

Or the Malay idiom,

"Sikit-sikit, lama menjadi bukit."

(Little by little, a hill is formed eventually).


I believe that we indeed can make a difference, if we choose to be a difference.

Here are some stuff you do to read up on elections, or to check if you are eligible to vote this year. And finally,

"Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for you country"
John F. Kennedy

Vote wisely!

love is in the air

This time last year I wrote a post just because it was valentine's day. Nothing different this time around. Although, I'm much less for ideas, and some how, my English has deteriorated. Atrocious! I guess, after hanging out in a country that's so proud of their very own Manglish, one tends to follow after the trend?

Valentine's day. Love is in the air.

Actually not so much for me. It's been a pretty much normal day for me. I was surprised to not see many people walking hand in hand, or with a bouquet of flowers in hand. No love music in the air as I walked the shopping mall to get some items.

I have to say this (please don't kill me!), but I was even surprised that my sister wasn't out on a romantic dinner. (Here's me sore but trying to rationalize things) I guess when one's a little older, commercialized days like Valentine's Day don't faze us. (Yeah right!)

Honestly speaking though, all soreness aside, I don't see why there's any real reason to celebrate. And as Shawn Kong had written in his post, shouldn't love be celebrated on a daily basis?

Most probably, florists, candy and chocolate sellers or anything that comes along in the package of Valentine's day, just wanted to make a little more cash (probably Chinese, since most of them had to give away angpows and now had to make back some money), and hence, some how convinced/conned women in the world, that this day should be something special, and IF they meant anything at all to their significant other, they should get something or some celebration out of the ordinary.

I'm just kidding. Please don't sue me or leave nasty comments in my blog!

Anyhow, here's a picture to somewhat make whoopee of this special day. Happy Valentine's day! Especially to those who are sitting in front of your computers right now reading blogs instead of out on a hot date. ;)

crossroads

What do you do when there seems like a dozen roadblocks, too many options and no clue as to where one should go?

At the cross roads.

Waiting.

Where do I go from here?

where have all the real men gone?

No, really. Without even the slightest bit of cynicism, where are they? No, I've not turned gay, but as a guy, who is looking for guy friends who can help walk in the many journeys of life, I can't find many (if at all any)!

I hang out with a group of guys. We DO stuff. We play boardgames. Mamak. Movies. Idle chat about certain things. But where have all the good men, who would lend a hand in the heart department. Or the dream department. Built each other up, hear each other out.

Where?

I'm not asking anyone to be soppy, or touchy feel-y (a definite NO!), but at least for Pete's sake, or in this case, for our sake, can we do something more building.

What happened the to the band of brothers? Not leaving anyone behind? Striving and marching together? Pulling each other from the mud pit, or watching each others backs?

Where?

Calling all real men out there. Your guy friend needs you. Really. Not just for a game of footie or cup of coffee.

I do hope that I can find a group of guy friends, who can form a strong sense of camaraderie.

COME ON GUYS!

the reality of it all

What's the truth? What's right and what's wrong?

We've learned so many 'facts', so many 'truths' that it's become what we pick and choose, and then it's our version of the truth, our facts that we hold so steadfastly to. Or something like that.

I discovered another reason as to why I believe in God.

Because He is REALITY.

Waitaminute. You already kinda knew that didn't you?

Look around you. Everything that's made, is made from something by someone, and everything including relationship are held together by something. By what?

I quote this from Velvet Elvis that I really like.
"I don't follow Jesus because I think Christianity is the best religion. I follow Jesus because he leads me into ultimate reality. He teaches me how to live in tune with how reality is."

In John 1:1, it says
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the word was God.

The word WORD is logos in Greek, to which we get the word logic from.

God = Word, which also means logic.

Logic to which reality is what it is.

Colossians 2:
17These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ.

The reality can ONLY be found in Christ. No where else. And THAT is the reality of it all.

yours or mine?

Who's opinion is right? Who's opinion is wrong?

Mine came from the bible. So, not to say yours is wrong, but mine is simply just from the bible.


First time I read that statement, I myself had not seen anything that was wrong. In fact, isn't that supposed to be the truth? I mean, if the bible isn't right, why am I following it so closely?

Rob Bell in his book Velvet Elvis says that it's wrong.

Wrong? Wait a minute, the bible wrong? He playfully put questions like this back and fourth, but had really asked it out of seriousness.

You see, the bible is really an open interpretation. In the olden days, when each village probable had only one bible, they came together to read and discuss to come up with the best conclusion or about a passage. No single person came up with their own interpretation out of reading solitary. It wasn't a solo effort.

So, quite well put when it says, who are we to tell someone that what they believe in is wrong, when what we believe in sometimes, is also something we had deciphered on our own from the bible? Just because we QUOTE the bible, or a part of it, doesn't make the statement right.

Don't get me wrong, or don't get Rob Bell wrong. The bible is ultimately VERY important. As much potential it has to give answers, we can misconstrue the information, and teach the wrong things.

Jeremiah 17:
9 The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?

intermission

It's been a while since I blogged. A hiatus from the typing world. I haven't written anything for a while, and have not quite been regular, simply because, my brain felt drained. Nothing creative to write, or nothing inspiring to share.

However, I did read of some things interesting, and thought it might be good to share.

Especially for all those who may be feeling a little burnt out from over doing, and not getting anywhere.

What am I talking about?

Sustainability.

How to sustain years and years of what your are supposed to do.

In the book Courageous Leadership by Bill Hybels (which I finally finished yesterday), he talks about
1) Knowing your calling
2) Having the courage to change
3) Surrounding oneself with 'safe' ppl
4) Looking at it from an eternal point of view

Not to say that I've fully mastered it, but 1,2, and 4 didn't impact me as much as surrounding oneself with safe people. Why you may ask?

I guess, I'm seeing the importance of just surrounding myself with like minded people. People who would say, come on, don't give up when I feel like it. People to cheer you on. People who work with you on the same page instead of going in a different direction. People who would agree not for the sake of agreeing, but for the sake of building together.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not whining here. I'm dreaming here. Having a vision of people working hand in hand and moving forward together. This are the people who would sustain each other through the tests of time, storms, disasters.

Ecc 4:9-10 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

People. We need to learn how to encourage one another full heartedly. No man is an island.

pics of New York (2)

At the park before boarding the boat to Liberty Island

This is south of Manhattan.

Statue of Liberty from afar

Just as we were queuing up to get onto the boat, my camera died.

pics of New York (1)

First day at New York from New Jersey. My mother and I were waiting for a train to go to a friend's place.

The hustle and bustle of Grand Central Station New York.

Some really nice paintings on the ceiling.

Heading to the statue of liberty. This is south of Manhattan.

new york new york

Yes. Blogging from New York. It's my last day here. Well, penultimate day, to be more exact. Instead of traveling an hour to downtown Manhattan, I'm at my friend's place. Resting.

Finally, being able to gather some thoughts, and relax for just a bit, I feel for the first time in 7 days, I'm actually adjusting to this place, and having some sort of affection for it.

Let me explain myself a little. When I left Malaysia for Halifax, as much as I knew I was leaving friends and family behind, it didn't sting that much. I was all excited, wide eyed to live abroad. Do different things, experience 4 seasons, see SNOW! And as much as I missed Malaysia initially, I didn't show it. What was worse I guess, was when I felt, it wasn't so much as to me leaving Malaysia, but it was more of Malaysia leaving me. Yeap. Weird as it is, it was somewhat true, as I saw the number of emails dwindling in my inbox.

This time around, as I left home for just even a brief moment, I missed it already. I'm unable to pinpoint, what exactly leaves me so longing for home.

Is it the people? Friends? Convenience and familiarity? Church? Leaders? Surroundings and temperature? Or have I finally grown to love HOME the way it is, because simply there's no place like home.
Truthfully, I do not know.

Sitting and waiting, and thinking, sometimes, is just not my best asset. As I sit to ponder whether I would have to go through it all over again, I am uncertain if I do want to, or am I secretly hoping that I do, as it means I am coming here?

Who knows?

Lots of searching to do.

blame

It's easier to blame than to be responsible. It's easier to create excuses than to own up. It's a piece of cake, to live in denial and not face facts or to accept things the way they are, and instead of improving or doing what's necessary to move on.

It's hard to look back and see how His mighty hand has moved, if we never accepted that there was something wrong to begin with, that needed intervention or a miracle. It's difficult to own up and say, it was out of the ordinary, because instead of hoping, deep down, that person stayed disappointed and in the end made logic of everything seen.

What's worse is, one who has never really given God the chance to come into their lives, and at the first sight of difficulty, first smell of trouble, they find fault in the one being they don't really believe in, or never bothered to get to know.

I choose to NOT to accuse. I choose to believe that He can do all things. All the more, I believe in Romans 8:28. I thank, not curse.

new years...

This time round, I'm wasn't around in Malaysia to celebrate the advent of the new year. Yeap. I was away. Tucked in my bed, in a hotel room, in New Jersey. I didn't even stay awake to countdown with the people on tv in Times Square. I was just too tired from my flight.

Wanted to do this yesterday, JUST as most people did before the year ended: a quick reflection of 2007.

This was a very odd year for me. Plenty of farewells, and parting of ways. Many weddings (though I did not get to go for many), many new friendships forged, and had friends who had pregnancies.
The first half of the year I was in a different continent, then in the second half of the year. My perspective, my outlook on things has also changed.

Honestly, I believe my second half of the year was really good. Who knew that as soon as I came back, I would jump into ministry and reach out to students. I guess after all the years of being a 'senior' student, trying to help 'junior' students, I've finally found a calling.

Leading. Mentoring. Shepherding. Dare I say it? Pastoring.

In the midst of wanting to do all this, I had exams. It did not stop me, however, as I already had made a decision to do what was important, and what God wanted me to do. I am glad that I had worked hard in the midst of studying, or else I would have missed out on a lot. I would have missed being God's instrument, and missed the joy of seeing some growing up, and KNOWING that I had a part to play in it.

Thank you God for including me.

If there were big words this year that I would carry to 2008, these would be it:
Decided, obedient, follow, lead.

Some verses that truly applied to me:

Matthew 6:
33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Romans 8:
28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

31What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Phil 3:
12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Happy new year peeps! May 2008 be a blessed year for many. Another year to push forward and grow!