As usual, I waste my time watching tv. I'm toning down though. So that's improving. Hope not to watch tv this week at all. Or at least, not more than 3 hours if possible.
Well, that's not the topic that I was going to blog aobut today. I was watching A Walk to Remember yesterday (yes, I did), and I thought it had some good lessons and some interesting bits in it.
Lesson no 1: MAN O MAN, it's RARE to find someone like Mandy Moore's character in the movie. Someone so planted in God. Is there such a person? That girl had everything... brains beauty looks, a great singing voice...
Stop.
I'm going astray again. TV's making my concentration really poor.
What I really want to talk about, is the chapter in Corinthians about love. I'm sure almost all of you know what I'm talking about.
Love is patient
Love is kind
It does not envy
It does not boast
It is not proud
It is not rude
It is not self-seeking
It is not easily angered
It keeps no records of wrongs
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
The beautiful thing about it, is that it's not just for love in a relationship. It's love for everyone.
Love is patient- no matter how irritating someone can be, love should overcome this.
It keeps no records of wrongs- my sins outweigh much more than any silly mistake a friend can do. Yet I am forgiven and I am loved.
Always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres.
It's the same for father and son. Wife and husband, Brother and brother. Between friends. Same with lovers.
Hmm... this post may make no sense. I guess all i'm trying to say, is that, I can do better with people. Peace.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Saturday, July 29, 2006
the true self appears
After so long of being the good guy, I sometimes wonder is it all worth it?
Folllowing the rules and doing what is right, I think I've lost the perspective of eternity some days.
When you do what is right, and ppl diss u for it. Man. Sometimes, it makes me feel like such a loser for doing what is right. Obviously, I've lost my perspective and I end up comparing, what ppl do with what I do, and I ask myself, is it worth doing what is right.
Some one give me a quick reminder pls? I think I left my brain somewhere.
Folllowing the rules and doing what is right, I think I've lost the perspective of eternity some days.
When you do what is right, and ppl diss u for it. Man. Sometimes, it makes me feel like such a loser for doing what is right. Obviously, I've lost my perspective and I end up comparing, what ppl do with what I do, and I ask myself, is it worth doing what is right.
Some one give me a quick reminder pls? I think I left my brain somewhere.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
blame it all on yourself
When things go awry, I tend to blame myself. I tend to say: Why did I do a certain something when I knew I could have avoided it. This time, I don't know what to think any longer.
Yes. I'm back talking about friendships. When everyone else seems to be so content with where they are with their friends, I am not. I've not only lost touch with most ppl, but I really don't think I know them anymore. It's the same thing over again. And now I question, is it really my doing?
Every single time I move on to a new place, the old friends just to somewhat disappear. It's either I'm not a great friend that nobody tries THAT hard to preserve a friendship with me, or that I'm just ignoring all the signs? I don't get, and I don't know how. I've come to discover, I'm really like a nomad, travelling place to place, getting to know ppl, but as soon as I leave, I dust off the dirt of the place of my shoes, and the ppl purge their house of my presence.
I get. Everyone's busy right? Everyone's got their own thing right? But is it so hard to get an email? I guess it is. I give up. If not for someone having to warn others about what I feel, no one will ever know, not even the one I call my closest friend. I get it. It's my poor effort right? I'm not understanding enough right?
Boy... keep this up, and I'll soon sink into depression.
Yes. I'm back talking about friendships. When everyone else seems to be so content with where they are with their friends, I am not. I've not only lost touch with most ppl, but I really don't think I know them anymore. It's the same thing over again. And now I question, is it really my doing?
Every single time I move on to a new place, the old friends just to somewhat disappear. It's either I'm not a great friend that nobody tries THAT hard to preserve a friendship with me, or that I'm just ignoring all the signs? I don't get, and I don't know how. I've come to discover, I'm really like a nomad, travelling place to place, getting to know ppl, but as soon as I leave, I dust off the dirt of the place of my shoes, and the ppl purge their house of my presence.
I get. Everyone's busy right? Everyone's got their own thing right? But is it so hard to get an email? I guess it is. I give up. If not for someone having to warn others about what I feel, no one will ever know, not even the one I call my closest friend. I get it. It's my poor effort right? I'm not understanding enough right?
Boy... keep this up, and I'll soon sink into depression.
Friday, July 21, 2006
Thursday, July 20, 2006
being christian
A lot of ppl have this misconception: to be christian, you would have to be good, or else you can't be christian.
How would any one of you read that? I want to begin by saying, christians are humans too. They make mistakes. And the whole point about being christian, is not about being perfect, but it's learning to be more and more Christ like.
It means, we make mistakes now. WE will make mistakes, probably later too.
That's why, we have God's saving grace. We DO NOT save ourselves, but God does. Christ died for all of us, for our sins. And because of that, because of God's abundant grace, we are saved.
By me saying this, I don't mean to say that it is alright for us to continue making mistakes. At some point or rather, we have to change to. Just that, it's sad to see how many non christians nit pick every single mistake a christian does. It is given that the christian should be an example, light and salt to his/her friends, BUT christians are still humans.
To err is human, but to not learn from your mistakes- is to be ignorant.
How would any one of you read that? I want to begin by saying, christians are humans too. They make mistakes. And the whole point about being christian, is not about being perfect, but it's learning to be more and more Christ like.
It means, we make mistakes now. WE will make mistakes, probably later too.
That's why, we have God's saving grace. We DO NOT save ourselves, but God does. Christ died for all of us, for our sins. And because of that, because of God's abundant grace, we are saved.
By me saying this, I don't mean to say that it is alright for us to continue making mistakes. At some point or rather, we have to change to. Just that, it's sad to see how many non christians nit pick every single mistake a christian does. It is given that the christian should be an example, light and salt to his/her friends, BUT christians are still humans.
To err is human, but to not learn from your mistakes- is to be ignorant.
Saturday, July 15, 2006
the end of an era
the end of an era
the time has come
to stay is still an option
but why stay
when you can go
leave for greener pastures
what is done
has already passed
no use looking back
no use crying over it
the beginning comes to an end
an abrupt halt
if you weren't looking
all is gone in a split second
or at least it feels like this
don't forget the little things
don't forget the big things
lest not you appreciate this
it goes
gone with the wind
like the flame that dies with the wind
it
is gone
the time has come
to stay is still an option
but why stay
when you can go
leave for greener pastures
what is done
has already passed
no use looking back
no use crying over it
the beginning comes to an end
an abrupt halt
if you weren't looking
all is gone in a split second
or at least it feels like this
don't forget the little things
don't forget the big things
lest not you appreciate this
it goes
gone with the wind
like the flame that dies with the wind
it
is gone
Friday, July 14, 2006
consumerism
Are you a consumer?
Do you find yourself buying clothes that define 'your sense of style'?
Are you finding yourself buying more products in line with 'your lifestyle'?
Are you known to buy a certain line of clothing, brand, product?
For instance, are you a mac user or a pc user?
Are you a rocker, a hip hopper, or punk rock, or even a jazz person?
Do you find yourself often saying, X brand is the best, I will only use this?
My last question:
Are you known for what you buy? Or are you known for your personality?
If the answers to most of the questions are yes, and you are known for the things you buy, you are a consumer.
I was reading an article on this and it is interesting. We have become a consumer generation. We are non longer known for out values but know by people for the things we wear, the music we listen to, or perhaps even by the amount we buy.
What's even more sad is that, most of us (christians included of course), we think more about what we are to wear tmrw, or what's the next gadget one can buy, or the latest album or book out in the stores soon. What happened to being known as a person with values? It still exists. I know. It's not completely wiped out, but take a moment to reflect, and I trust you too will find that that it mostly true. We are consumers.
AND when we go to church, we consume. We want to be blessed by God. We want gains, promises, riches, blessings, company. How many can sincerely say that they go to church to purely worship and bring glory to God? I know I can't. I'm as guilty as the coal is black. Time to go back to the basics eh?
Do you find yourself buying clothes that define 'your sense of style'?
Are you finding yourself buying more products in line with 'your lifestyle'?
Are you known to buy a certain line of clothing, brand, product?
For instance, are you a mac user or a pc user?
Are you a rocker, a hip hopper, or punk rock, or even a jazz person?
Do you find yourself often saying, X brand is the best, I will only use this?
My last question:
Are you known for what you buy? Or are you known for your personality?
If the answers to most of the questions are yes, and you are known for the things you buy, you are a consumer.
I was reading an article on this and it is interesting. We have become a consumer generation. We are non longer known for out values but know by people for the things we wear, the music we listen to, or perhaps even by the amount we buy.
What's even more sad is that, most of us (christians included of course), we think more about what we are to wear tmrw, or what's the next gadget one can buy, or the latest album or book out in the stores soon. What happened to being known as a person with values? It still exists. I know. It's not completely wiped out, but take a moment to reflect, and I trust you too will find that that it mostly true. We are consumers.
AND when we go to church, we consume. We want to be blessed by God. We want gains, promises, riches, blessings, company. How many can sincerely say that they go to church to purely worship and bring glory to God? I know I can't. I'm as guilty as the coal is black. Time to go back to the basics eh?
Sunday, July 09, 2006
to be the bigger person ?
Today, after speaking with someone today, I totally got irked and said good bye to that person, never wanting to speak to that person ever again. If you are that person reading this now, I'm sorry, I still don't have the patience to talk to you.
Yes. I'm angry. I'm flustered. I'm boiling. I'm peeved. I'm whatever words you want to insert to say, I'm not just the least bit angry, but I'm FURIOUS.
This was a guy, that I should be a good example to, but today, I couldn't. I lost it. I lost it because I felt that this particular person was being testy. Being beyond saucy. Just plain rude and inconsiderate. Look, if my intentions were to help you, were a bit too blunt with the words, I'm apologize, but to go as far as saying something which shows how much you know me, really peeved me.
Yes. I was called an American worshipper. WHERE IN THE WORLD DID THAT COME FROM? The guy who supports England in soccer (and even that was made fun of), is called an American worshipper? WOW.
$%%*%^*&^%*&^... yes put in your own obscenities there.
Regretfully, I no longer want to be an example for this particular person. I cannot. I feel that this person is JUST testing my limits. And today, those boundaries exist no more. From now on, you can say what you want, do as you please. It will have no more effect on me anymore, because I feel, it's too much to have expectations for you.
As hurting as this is to say, I have zero expectations for you. Do as you please. Insult as you want. Hit and run me over with a truck. It's okay. When there's no expectations, you won't feel betrayed, you won't feel insulted, you won't be angry.
Peace.
Yes. I'm angry. I'm flustered. I'm boiling. I'm peeved. I'm whatever words you want to insert to say, I'm not just the least bit angry, but I'm FURIOUS.
This was a guy, that I should be a good example to, but today, I couldn't. I lost it. I lost it because I felt that this particular person was being testy. Being beyond saucy. Just plain rude and inconsiderate. Look, if my intentions were to help you, were a bit too blunt with the words, I'm apologize, but to go as far as saying something which shows how much you know me, really peeved me.
Yes. I was called an American worshipper. WHERE IN THE WORLD DID THAT COME FROM? The guy who supports England in soccer (and even that was made fun of), is called an American worshipper? WOW.
$%%*%^*&^%*&^... yes put in your own obscenities there.
Regretfully, I no longer want to be an example for this particular person. I cannot. I feel that this person is JUST testing my limits. And today, those boundaries exist no more. From now on, you can say what you want, do as you please. It will have no more effect on me anymore, because I feel, it's too much to have expectations for you.
As hurting as this is to say, I have zero expectations for you. Do as you please. Insult as you want. Hit and run me over with a truck. It's okay. When there's no expectations, you won't feel betrayed, you won't feel insulted, you won't be angry.
Peace.
Friday, July 07, 2006
the dark night
Twang. Bang bang. Bang. Twang.
Gunshots in the night. Need to cover from fire. Have to hide. Why are this people shooting at me? What do I have that they want ? There's no reason to kill me. What does George Bush have against me?
I'm not safe here. Please let me go. I'll be better at home. I don't trust anyone here.
In the dark, only sounds could be heard. When the lights are off, and the night creeps into the room, the sounds, the sounds. they come again. Night after night. Sleepless nights of worry and anxiety.
I'M NOT CRAZY. I've not lost my marbles. Everything was good at home. It's just turning worse here. I know they are trying to poison me through the food. I won't eat I tell you.
The above is an account of how a person, turning 90++, is losing their mind. Not figuratively. Literally losing their mind. The wits get dulled, the memory dimmed, and more and more, they are amnestic. Child like.
Lost of cognition skills.
Inability to function.
Like the dark dark night, it comes, and all that was once seen in light, is consumed in the black matter.
Dementia is like that dark dark night. When one no longer sees, no longer knows, no longer is able to differentiate..
The decline of oneself, dementia is truly like the dark night.
Gunshots in the night. Need to cover from fire. Have to hide. Why are this people shooting at me? What do I have that they want ? There's no reason to kill me. What does George Bush have against me?
I'm not safe here. Please let me go. I'll be better at home. I don't trust anyone here.
In the dark, only sounds could be heard. When the lights are off, and the night creeps into the room, the sounds, the sounds. they come again. Night after night. Sleepless nights of worry and anxiety.
I'M NOT CRAZY. I've not lost my marbles. Everything was good at home. It's just turning worse here. I know they are trying to poison me through the food. I won't eat I tell you.
The above is an account of how a person, turning 90++, is losing their mind. Not figuratively. Literally losing their mind. The wits get dulled, the memory dimmed, and more and more, they are amnestic. Child like.
Lost of cognition skills.
Inability to function.
Like the dark dark night, it comes, and all that was once seen in light, is consumed in the black matter.
Dementia is like that dark dark night. When one no longer sees, no longer knows, no longer is able to differentiate..
The decline of oneself, dementia is truly like the dark night.
Monday, July 03, 2006
this is our world
THis is our world. God's creation.
Beauty that was made,
None can compare,
Breath taking, jaw dropping,
Incomprehensible,
Totally desirable.
God's love for us. THis planet.
Our home.
It's a youtube day :)
Sunday, July 02, 2006
appreciation
Do we appreciate things a little too late? Do we only cherish good times and close ties, only when it's all gone ?
To ejoy it at that moment but not appreciate it, that's common is it not?
This blog is pretty much me thinking out aloud. Initially I was angry at a friend for not really keeping in touch with me. Just MSN. No mail no calls. Nothing. From being close to this person, I felt that we drifted apart, soon each having their own priorities and this particular friendship wasn't too high on the list. And there it was. Gone like the wind. Talking to this friend was now no different talking to any other ppl online. The connection had been lost.
I am upset.
Was it my fault? My friend's fault? Or the distance in between. I understand the pretense of having more work, more priorities, but it also comes to show that, this friendship had dropped low in the priority bar. I don't know. Maybe I'm a sour grape. Maybe I'm a bitter gourd. Whatever it is. I am deeply saddened it has come to this point.
Looks like it's time to move on. We all have our priorities right? Time to get mine straight.
To ejoy it at that moment but not appreciate it, that's common is it not?
This blog is pretty much me thinking out aloud. Initially I was angry at a friend for not really keeping in touch with me. Just MSN. No mail no calls. Nothing. From being close to this person, I felt that we drifted apart, soon each having their own priorities and this particular friendship wasn't too high on the list. And there it was. Gone like the wind. Talking to this friend was now no different talking to any other ppl online. The connection had been lost.
I am upset.
Was it my fault? My friend's fault? Or the distance in between. I understand the pretense of having more work, more priorities, but it also comes to show that, this friendship had dropped low in the priority bar. I don't know. Maybe I'm a sour grape. Maybe I'm a bitter gourd. Whatever it is. I am deeply saddened it has come to this point.
Looks like it's time to move on. We all have our priorities right? Time to get mine straight.
Saturday, July 01, 2006
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