another day another blog, more garbage

Another day, another blog.
I sit down today and once again, I contemplate. I contemplate about what I'm doing, and I contemplate about the people around me.
Yes. The people around me.

I do question sometimes, what makes christians different from others? If I am a christian, how am I different from the next person?
Honestly, sometimes, as heart wrecking as this sounds, I see no difference.

When I need help, both help me, christian and non-christian. (True friends of course).
When I need advice, both sit down and talk to me and give me advice. (Of course one is Godly, and one is more worldly).

There is one difference though that I see. When I make a decision (albeit wrong sometimes), there are people who insists on the opposite. Why? Even if it's not spoken,
I can tell sometimes, some people are just not happy with the decision that I make.
Okay, okay. I admit, I can be foolish sometimes, but talk to me and not behind me.
That is my pet peeve.

Having said all these, I am no better unfortunately. Another scoundrel that does exactly the same. Am I worthy to be called a christian?

Because I certainly don't act like one at the best of times.

decisions

*WARNING: Rant included in entry*

Ah decisions. Now in the midst of deciding everything, why are some of my choices being questioned? When suggestions are given, are they meant to be followed? Why are some people so persistent that their way be followed and not the person's decision respected? Am I missing out on some part of the picture? Some people not telling me the honest truth? I don't know. Am I just part guessing on what's going on?

SOMEHOW, I really really feel, that sometimes, I am to obey other people's decision and mine is not to be honored.

WHY?

I have no idea.

No questions, just orders, or hopes that someone would do something according to what you wanted them to. Am I also doing that ?

omens

I don't really believe in omens, but when I first was going to leave for Saint John, it seemed very much that it wasn't meant to be, or maybe that it was not going to be easy. First of all, I had to take the bus (yes yes, overdramatization) which was 7.5 hours in journey. Not something I look forward to especially if one is driving, it'll take about 4-5 hours. Sitting in the bus and all alone. Nice.
Then, while I was in Saint John, I arrived, thinking, yes, I'm finally in Saint John. Will be able to get some rest in a nice bed in an okay apartment, but nooooooo.... guess what? The admin people forgot to put my package which included my keys to the apt. So, for the night, I had to sleep in the ever welcoming call rooms. Plus side was I got to at least watch tv and meet some ppl I know. However, I could not shower as I did not want to pack and unpack, knowing that I will be able to move into the apts in the morning. At least, I had a good night's sleep.
The story goes on. As I report for my surgery elective, the lady at the dept was like, " Oh, I thought you were coming for another date, but it's all okay, I'll get it all arranged."
Oh oh, another round of GUESS WHAT?. Guess what?

"We're short today, is it okay if you took this as your reading day?"

!!!

"Okay, no problem." Since I had to brush up on my surgery knowledge anyway.

Well, the day passed by, and I decided to walk to Superstore to get some groceries for the next 2 weeks. 30 minute walk. I'm such an IDIOT . I could have taken the bus and saved my 1 hour of walk. Ha ha. Not the best of my ideas.
On the way home, this boy just ran up to me and started talking to me, asking me about what I do etc. When I told him I was working in the hospital, he asked me all sorts of questions. I found that to be really weird. Wasn't the kid worried about kidnapping? Or is it because Canada is so safe?

That last bit, about the kid, felt like an omen. Or God telling me something.

Everytime I walk, I think a lot, maybe God sent someone to distract me from my thoughts. I don't know. What do you people think?

.... yes, another random blog. :)

another day gone

Another day gone and I don't know what I've been up to. Haha. Just time and money wasting. Although, I must say that I got my temporary driver's license today. I'm going around to bug ppl to let me drive their car so I can practice until I go for my driver's exam. I did my written exam today, and let's just say... I almost failed. That's for deciding impulsively to read the book for one hour then take the exam. Yikes.

So those of you who have cars, pls let me drive your car with you in (while you squirm in your seat everytime I take the turn or accelerate the pedal..haha, kidding!) so that I may practice. Thanks! :)

difficult positions

We all at one point of time or rather, will encounter a difficult position. The crossroads some may say. This may or may not be that big of a cross road, but for the sake of friendship, I will say it is a big crossroad.

Ah. Decisions. Which decisions to make that will be right? Can one truly choose a path that is pleasing to all? Can we do things to please our friends and at the same time look correct in the eyes of ppl? Can we do as we say we want to do, and not just do the things we think is right, but say something else? Somewhere along the way, one of these will happen. I admit, I myself do it too. No excuses (though I have a dozen).

The answer to all this, which I have to thoroughly remind myself is, the only person I should think of pleasing is God. What I do, should only be right before God's eyes. Not that I'm saying to h*** with everyone, but I'm saying, put God first and everything follows.

"But seek first His kingddom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
Matthew 6:33

Someone once told me, as a student, I am like nomad. I move from place to place and set up camp. But in each place, whether I make that place just a temporary home, and in that temporal moment, I do things for the sake of just surviving, it is meaningless and in all things, one should be more like Abraham who set up a place of worship in every place that he stopped.

So, I should make my decisions based more on a more permanent basis. In every place that I go, I need to do the purpose of God and do things that will be an act of worship to Him. My decisions, in everything, need to be pleasing to God.

leaving a sour taste in one's mouth

Yes, it's like learning a new phrase. Only, I already know this one, I'm just using it more today.

I'm talking about certain things in particular, but for the first time, this will not be a rant. I just thought it might be interesting to discuss this particular issue about resovling certain issues or even to begin with, just discussing certain issues.

How do we put things delicate enough that we don't hurt someone's feelings, or not too badly that it leaves a sour taste in one's mouth after the conversation. Do we push for something we want or do we be so soft and non demanding about things, and get run over? Or do we say something and be firm about it and let our friendship go into pieces? Or will it. I don't know.

pre exam state

The pre exam state. Stressed and worried. Well. I'm not that stressed actually. I have this strange feeling of calmness that God is in control. Just hope I don't start panicking in the morning. Haha.

I am however sick, my brothers and sisters. I have a runny nose and a cough. I think I caught it off my classmate. I'm not at my best. I do wonder if the Tylenol Cold ( acetaminophen with pseudoephedrine and dextametrophan) is somewhat making me high. Maybe not. But anyhow, if any of you read this by Sept 14, 12 noon Halifax time, please remember me in your prayers as I embark on my OSCE exam and will be taking my MCQ exam on Sat, Sept 16 at 9am. Thanks peeps. I appreciate it.
God bless.

the calm before the storm

As above. Just 3 more days. I am not prepared. Certainly, not confident. But what can I do. Procrastination and my constant malaise, has just made no room for time to study. Yes. It reminds of Christ's disciples before Jesus was arrested. Sleepy and not on guard. And why am I blogging when I should be studying?

For one, it is Sunday, and I'm supposed to be in church, praying extra hard that I pass my exams. *snigger* No. Just want to be in God's presence that's all.
But, I am in the hospital. Cause I'm on call. On emerge call. Busy call usually. Meaning no sleep today, and tired tmrw. Not a good sign at all. So after rounding on all my patients today, I thought I'd just quickly check on some things, and then, blog, and then go down to the library to study.

Preparing for the exams and thinking about my future ahead, with electives not quite totally set up yet, (3 weeks short), and so much uncertainty to where I'm going, it's certainly made me think, what does God want me to do. Timely enough, I was reading cnn.com (yes, I follow news), and there was this article about certain churches preaeching, that God wants to bless you now and you don't have to wait till you get to heaven. When I mean bless, I meant, with riches.

That is ridiculous. While it's nice to be rich, I think the ultimate blessing is to know that God is pleased with you.

It was quoted in the article, John 10:10. For all those who don't know, John 10:10 states, "The thief comes to steal and kill and destroy; but I (Christ) have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." In other words, to give us life more abundantly. And this was interpreted as riches on earth.

My dear friends, all I can say is this, and as funny as it may sound, when the clock is ticking, and you know you are almost at wits end because you haven't finished studying for your exams, you'll start asking yourself, what's more important?, your career or your life mission. UNLESS of course, it is intertwined.
But today, if you have the time, sit and think, and try to put into perspective, what's really important in your life: God or other things that could be false idols?

just 1 more week

As the title says, I have one more week. One more week to be able to diagnose and manage almost every common disease that there is to mankind. Right. Panic stricken? You betcha.
Wet my pants? So many times, it's a constant kiddie pool in there. (Pool and kids geddit?... hahahahaha..... )

Seriously, all said and done, I haven't had anytime to study at all. I'm tired most days, and whatever I read doesn't seem to stay in my head.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling dooowwwwnnnnn.... will you pleaaasseee pleaaasseee help meeeeee

RIght. Exam syndrome. WHeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

tired

Just 1.5 more weeks. Tired. Yet need to study. Need to push on. Hope I last. And not fade. No computer. Just me, my guitar and my ipod. Time to study.