the countdown

Tick tock tick tock. The days quickly slip away from my grip, as I try to prepare myself for the upcoming USMLE step 2. The harder I hold on to my day, the faster it escapes through my fingers. I can see why they call it the sands of time. Each day, I have to come to endure and face the fact that my exam is just around the corner, and I'm nowhere near to being prepared.

Panic ensues, as if the sky were soon to fall on my head, as I feel like running helter skelter as the rabbit who thought the world was coming to an end.

5 more days 5 more days! Most people would be glad that their exams would soon be over, but I really wish for more days. More time to read and be totally confident before going in.

It's in times like this I cry out the Lord and ask, "Are you SERIOUS about wanting me to do this?"

Joshua 1: 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

My trust will be in God, who knows what He is doing. As opposed to me.

only in Malaysia

Didn't know the appropriate title for this entry, just something I thought I'd write and make it in tandem with my 40 days for Malaysia tribute. I know. I lack urgency in studying for my exams.

Talking to my sister over dinner (ba ku teh, for all those of you who are not home in Malaysia, haw haw), we were just commenting on the many funny things that one could observe while walking the streets or rather sometimes, the broad spaces of a shopping mall. She was just telling me how she saw some girl dressed up in heels, mini skirt, some top and had a flower in her hair. My sister's comment on how she thinks she's on some tropical beach was very befitting.

To think about it, Malaysia isn't Malaysia, if there weren't the ah lians and ah bengs, and all the oddly dressed people. It wouldn't be Malaysia if there weren't people in the cinema commenting out aloud about the movie everyone else is watching (yes, laugh it up, but it gets irritating when people go, oh look, oh look, it's Gandalf, or when the simplest of plots are questioned, ie: A died because B hated him and hence, killed him).
Only in Malaysia, would a driver run a red light, and stare at the driver who's trying to move on his turn. Of course, not to forget, we have our very own slang. So for all foreigners who want to fit in, don't forget to add the Malaysia suffixes - lah, mah, loh, ah, ba, etc.

Tell me, where can one get so much entertainment without having to spend a single cent? Only in Malaysia. Honestly, sometimes I feel I would not miss this country if I left, but who am I kidding? Where will I source all my jokes? :p

40 days for Malaysia

Many times I've complained about the lack of facilities, the mindset of the people here, or how I dislike the bureaucracy (hope I don't get arrested for making that statement, haha), but I've never stepped up to bring changes or try to at least lend a helping hand in shaping this nation. In short, I've never really called Malaysia my own.
Well, today, in conjunction with NECF's 40 day fasting and prayer for the nation, I shall start my very own tribute for this country I call home.

She is one who is made of multiple cultures, each unique in itself, coloring her. One, whom I've failed many times over to call my own. Instead I stood to watch and complain, somewhat hoping that one would step up to clean the smear marks on her, to clean her and raise her to be beautiful. It would never be I, who would do anything for her.

I would pray for the things I needed and for all that I wanted, but it never came across my mind. She was the last thing on my mind to be loved, yet the first when it comes to expressing my annoyance on 'how things could be better'.

So, today, as this country continues to walk down the lane of development, I pledge myself to at least pray and fast for this nation, for Malaysia, she is my home.

sold out

I just bought the album 'Sold out' made by ECF, after going in circles trying to get one. Perhaps I did not make enough effort, but it's finally here, and I've heard it over and over again. I must say, it really does speak to me, especially the song 'sold out' itself, where somewhere in the middle, PC quotes from 1Kings19, where Elisha basically left all that he had, behind as he was called by God.

From verse 21 onwards:
So Elisha left him and went back. He took his yoke of oxen and slaughtered them. He burned the plowing equipment to cook the meat and gave it to the people, they ate. Then he set out to follow Elijah and became his attendant.

Elisha was sold out for God, gave his all in pursuit of God.

What about you? When was the last time we gave up something for God, be it excuses, our time, or something that was really hindering our relationship with God. Will we ever set out hearts to follow God no matter what the circumstances?

I believe God is already sold out for us, always blessing us and looking out for us.
Isn't it about time we did the same?

sundays

Sundays, are the days before Monday. The day before the week starts, before the onslaught of incoming work (be it classes or real work).
It starts off slow, and quiet, unlike all other mornings of the week, then a slow afternoon, incomparable to any other afternoons, the kind where one can just relax, doze off in the heat, while perfect Sunday afternoon music croons in the background.
Sunday night ensues, and this is the time I gather my thoughts. Just before Monday blues hit, and time just zooms by.

Somehow, no matter what, Sundays are special, even with the imminent Monday. I think about what I want to do with the rest of my week, I think about things that happen in the past, places of special memories revisited, mistakes and errors I need to learn from my personal history of fumbles and falls.

The only reason I'm probably feeling so 'emo' right now is because I'm listening to Angela Aki's "Kiss Me Goodbye". Kissing the past of regrets goodbye, I guess?

random

Here's a video and also just to test if my steps of posting a video is correct. A bachelor party that I could not attend as I was still away in Canada. Reminds me of Stephen's party. Woo hoo.

not at peace, but...

This whole week, whether my heart races, or my stomach feels turned inside out, or my bowels feel like it's doing the mexican wave over and over again (not to mention, how there's probably no more mosquitoes in my room due to poisonous gas... phew!).
Why? My exam for one and the reality that has hit my hard over the weeks.

Why am I on earth for?

Hence, the renewed desire to want to reach out, shape IMU, etc.

Well, I must say, I really feel God's been speaking to me LOTS this week. Specifically, this whole chapter that I read in 2 Cor 4.
Specifically this few verses: 7-11.

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body."

Exams? Trials? Tribulations? Motor vehicle accident?
How do we act in this situations? Are we crushed? In despair? At the brink of destruction or already destroyed to bits? Overworked until the point of quiting?

2 Cor 4:16-18
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix out eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen, is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

I am encouraged beyond words. I don't know about you, but I guess life IS really too short to fret about things to the point that one cannot be fruitful. I want to continue to trust God in all matters.

phew. The mexican waves have left. Ai carumba. What a relief! :p

what's next

Today, the IMU core met, and for the first time, I believe I was doing what I felt IMU should have done in a long time. My only prayer is that, this will not be the first and last, but for many more to come. It'll sound a little too gung ho when I say this, but time to raise a generation for God.

I spilled my heart out about what I felt we should be doing for IMU, and how we can be a little more deliberate with what we do (notice how I used the word deliberate, haha). Among some of the points I shared was, about how deliberate about doing God's work, be it raising new leaders, following up with people, engaging one to one with new people, or people who have yet to know or come to know Christ.

I remember how when I was still studying in IMU, and how PC or Nai Yee would keep asking us about our progress with people, or teach us ways that were effective, I would listen, but at the same time, I only did when I was asked or what I was asked to. I don't know, whether I was being thick, or just apathetic, I never did quite go past the 'list' on my own initiative.
Looking back, it was fear and pride that halted my progress most of the time, fear of lack of time to study, fear of rejection, fear for a lack of listeners and being prideful, thinking that surely I am doing enough (right?).

As I was praying for the meeting today, I came across 1John 4:18
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

God's perfect love for me, should be more than sufficient to drive me to do all things that is outside my comfort zone. God's love for people and hence, my love for people, should not and cannot be reigned by fear.
Hmmm, there's more to that verse that I'm not getting, I'll have to meditate on it. :)

the bank people vs bank customer

Honestly, I'm trying to cut down the rants and what not, but every time I have a lousy experience or dissatisfying time some place, I feel the need to blog it.

Today, was no less another, really painful, time wasting, turn-red-in-the-face, temperature rising, rage overpowering encounter, when I tried to go to the bank to open a new account.
Let me lay out my 2.5 hours trying to open an account, as simple as possible.

First, I was told that because my identity card's address was of Melaka and NOT Selangor, I must open an account in Melaka, or bring a bill with my name on it (and of course the address must be in Selangor). So, I went back to the apartment, to do just so, and returned to the bank.
TIME WASTED: about 50 minutes.

I finally get to fill in the form and my application gets processed. ONLY to my dismay, that because I wrote on the form that I was a graduate (I wanted to put Dr for once and not Mr, but wasn't the wisest of ideas) and was working in IMU (which basically made me open the account to begin with for payment purposes), they wanted the full address of the 'company'. To this, I have to thank Li Shun for helping me out by getting the address.
TIME WASTED: another 20 minutes or so

FINALLY, the card is ready, everything is in order, and I had to John Hancock about a dozen times, and the guy says to me, you have to go change the PIN of your ATM (ABM for those in Canada) card, then make a deposit, to which, I was certain he initially said MYR 150. At this point, I thought to myself, "Fortunately, I brought MYR 200 with me", and was happy that I was ready for at least one part of my banking experience. Just as he handed me my new card, he said, "Okay, so go change your PIN, and then go to the deposit machine, and put in MYR 250".
!!!!!!!!
MYR 200 was not acceptable to them. I asked. Guess what I had to do?
TIME WASTED: another 15 minutes.


Please do tell me, WHY OH WHY can't the services in Malaysia be a little more efficient and user/customer friendly?
The rate I'm going, I can actually write my own book of Lamentations. I'm serious.

nachos in Malaysia

Talk about downsizing. This nachos costs MYR 20 (about CAN 6+) compared to the pic below my profile which was CAN 10. Sigh. No more value for money meals. The "sandwich" which looked more like a burger to me was also MYR20. At least I had my fill of Vanilla Coke. Yum....

malaysian brands? pls don't promote it...

You know, I really wanted to curb this rant habit, but out of sheer frustration, I had to write it here. If I have the time later, I'm going to write to the newspapers.

Before I go on, if you can imagine me shouting this (because I am):

WHAT THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE............

Crap. I spent the last hour going out to get myself a stand fan, only to realize when I came home, that a part of the fan is missing. How on earth did the fan pass its quality control? I really really want to be someone who can say he's honestly proud of his country, but sometimes, being let down by simple small things like this, can really change one's mind. I thought I'd buy a locally made fan, because, heck it's cheaper than the rest, and I thought it's quality would be comparable, if not it would as least last me long enough before going to machine heaven (the dump).
But NOOooooo, they HAD to prove me wrong. Now I have to spend another hour going back to the shopping center, lugging a heavy box, just to exchange this for a fan that I should have in my room by NOW.

There goes 3 hours of my life today (plus the 3 minutes I'm spending on this blog entry). Thanks a lot Malaysian brand. *with a hint of sarcasm (or a lot)*

Frigfrigfrigfrigfrigfrig.....

edit: Okay. Just to be more specific. Don't buy Pensonic....