Merdeka!
Merdeka!
Merdeka!
The famous shout repeated 7 times on 31st Aug 1957, when independence was first declared. Any true Malaysian would be able to identify with this phrase. A phrase sometimes to casually said, but not thought thoroughly what it means to be throughly INDEPENDENT.
We as citizens of this country, did not have to endure the many promises of a foreign government to develop this land, nor did we have to fight any battles to defend the place we call home. We did not have to live on potatoes or yam hidden in loose floorboards of the home, or under burnt soil, live in fear day to day, worried that soldiers may return at any point of time to ravage the village we live in. We did not have to negotiate for freedom, we did not have to fight for it, and yet today, we live fully in it.
Do we truly know what freedom or independence is? Or is it just patriotic songs, the Jalur Gemilang flag, lots of fireworks the night prior, or even the parade on independence day itself?
Happy 50th Independence Day, Malaysia!
Even if we groan and moan about many things sometimes, I believe we are still proud to be Malaysians!
Friday, August 31, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
a long way to go
This country that is.
As long as the mentality does not change, the country cannot change. I have to admit, there are a few things this country is doing right in changing the minds of the people.
Or at least I think so.
Honestly, sometimes, I think people who are above a certain age are a lost cause, as they really stick to what they believe in, and as for the young? I don't know, I think their mind are consumed by other things of this world. Ie: blog, internet, MSN...
Disagree? I bet most of you would.
Each day as I face different situations, I ask myself, how in the world is this country ever going to change. After learning today, that I'm not getting my first paycheck anytime soon, by the current company that employs me, I was furious, but yet slightly just too tired to pursue and push. My pay for 1.5 months? I'll only see it next month, and better yet, probably the end of next month. After the rude encounter with a personnel in the finance dept., and still no pay, it's really hard to make further commentary.
As for the young, well, don't get me started. That is for another day.
This country that is trying to push forward and be a developed nation, is not at it's best. I have to say, we have come a long way since 50 years ago, but we still have a long way to go.
Question of the day would be: what am I doing to change things?
As long as the mentality does not change, the country cannot change. I have to admit, there are a few things this country is doing right in changing the minds of the people.
Or at least I think so.
Honestly, sometimes, I think people who are above a certain age are a lost cause, as they really stick to what they believe in, and as for the young? I don't know, I think their mind are consumed by other things of this world. Ie: blog, internet, MSN...
Disagree? I bet most of you would.
Each day as I face different situations, I ask myself, how in the world is this country ever going to change. After learning today, that I'm not getting my first paycheck anytime soon, by the current company that employs me, I was furious, but yet slightly just too tired to pursue and push. My pay for 1.5 months? I'll only see it next month, and better yet, probably the end of next month. After the rude encounter with a personnel in the finance dept., and still no pay, it's really hard to make further commentary.
As for the young, well, don't get me started. That is for another day.
This country that is trying to push forward and be a developed nation, is not at it's best. I have to say, we have come a long way since 50 years ago, but we still have a long way to go.
Question of the day would be: what am I doing to change things?
disappointment
Yes.
Disappointment. Don't worry, it's not so much of a rant than it is a way of both expressing myself and at the same time, evaluating things.
Sometimes, things just don't work the way we want them too, we get disappointed, and if it's long enough we get jaded. So, is disappointment a good thing or a bad thing? It really can deter some people from doing the right thing. I guess I'm learning even more, that things truly can't go the way we want it to MORE frequently than I think it would.
So am I disappointed? Yes. I am. Am I discouraged? In more than one way, yes.
However, just remember what pastor had to say yesterday about being an overcomer, I'll have to just overcome it. After all, good comes to all who love Him and does His work right?
Time to get back onto the saddle, and start moving forward. No pity party here. Slight frustration, but it does not equate nor justify my avoiding the fact of things and pushing forward.
All I can say is, I fully put my trust in the One that gave me purpose and life.
Disappointment. Don't worry, it's not so much of a rant than it is a way of both expressing myself and at the same time, evaluating things.
Sometimes, things just don't work the way we want them too, we get disappointed, and if it's long enough we get jaded. So, is disappointment a good thing or a bad thing? It really can deter some people from doing the right thing. I guess I'm learning even more, that things truly can't go the way we want it to MORE frequently than I think it would.
So am I disappointed? Yes. I am. Am I discouraged? In more than one way, yes.
However, just remember what pastor had to say yesterday about being an overcomer, I'll have to just overcome it. After all, good comes to all who love Him and does His work right?
Time to get back onto the saddle, and start moving forward. No pity party here. Slight frustration, but it does not equate nor justify my avoiding the fact of things and pushing forward.
All I can say is, I fully put my trust in the One that gave me purpose and life.
Friday, August 24, 2007
the day i became...
...a bright eyed, fresh, positive junior, full of expectation, dreams, altruism, and not yet worn out by the troubles of medical school.
It was a little strange for me to be in the orientation all over again. I had a billion things to do, (like studying) but I had decided to join the orientation to get to know some juniors. (No, not looking for a girl, especially one that is like 6 years younger than I am!)
It's really different to be one of them. Their reaction towards me, was totally different as they treated me as one of their own. No, I'm not trying to return to my youth either, in case you were thinking that. I just found it amusing that status can change so much.
For example, the pre and post of discovery that I was in fact a senior, changed how they looked at me, greeted me, talked to me. One person, who in fact wasn't a junior at all, was totally afraid of speaking to me after that. Weird..... really.
All I can say, we are really colleagues. Please if you see me don't call me senior, or super super senior even if I am. Our goals are all the same. I'm not here to be of a higher position than any of you. Of course, don't take me for some person you could step on, because that won't bode well with me.
Here's a photo of the group:
Hope they enjoy orientation.
It was a little strange for me to be in the orientation all over again. I had a billion things to do, (like studying) but I had decided to join the orientation to get to know some juniors. (No, not looking for a girl, especially one that is like 6 years younger than I am!)
It's really different to be one of them. Their reaction towards me, was totally different as they treated me as one of their own. No, I'm not trying to return to my youth either, in case you were thinking that. I just found it amusing that status can change so much.
For example, the pre and post of discovery that I was in fact a senior, changed how they looked at me, greeted me, talked to me. One person, who in fact wasn't a junior at all, was totally afraid of speaking to me after that. Weird..... really.
All I can say, we are really colleagues. Please if you see me don't call me senior, or super super senior even if I am. Our goals are all the same. I'm not here to be of a higher position than any of you. Of course, don't take me for some person you could step on, because that won't bode well with me.
Here's a photo of the group:
Hope they enjoy orientation.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Funny
It's funny, how I've suddenly been turned into a bright-eyed, fresh meat in a medical campus. For crying out loud, the idea of me joining orientation is not just ridiculous, but just absolutely retarded.
Haha.
I know, it's not that funny. I'll update more tonight. I'm sure most of you will have that bewildered look on your faces.
If you do, please take a photo of yourself and send it in.
Haha.
I know, it's not that funny. I'll update more tonight. I'm sure most of you will have that bewildered look on your faces.
If you do, please take a photo of yourself and send it in.
Monday, August 20, 2007
new additions..
My white empty wall
After 2 hours of figuring out what's best in terms of drilling and using the right screws...
Close up
A mask my sister bought from Africa for meFriday, August 17, 2007
the semi orange room
My work station
Clothes rack
The center of my room?!
Beloved guitar resting on the floor
The seat beckons me back to studies. :(Thursday, August 16, 2007
we are family
No, contrary to what you are thinking, I'm not singing the song.
This week, after lots of thinking, the one thing I've come to realize, with being a christian, is that, I'm really part of a bigger family. Sometimes, it's hard to see that. Sometimes, we treat each other just as friends, or just another person on the street.
Truth be told, is that, it isn't really true.
I believe, a christian can be so unlikeable to the point of risking strangulation, but still when in need, will be helped by fellow brothers or sisters (of course, they have to know that this person is in trouble). Why? Some might say, it's because they are all christians and they should do good, or purely because of namesake that they ARE christians. I used to want to believe that there is a greater bond than that. Now, I know for sure, it is purely for the reason that, we are of the same family, the same Father.
How DID I come to this conclusion?
When I was younger, more stubborn, more irritating, a rebel, I remember of people who stood by me and guided me, even when I refused guidance. Really. I was quite the stubborn donkey.
Now, it's my turn to lead and chance getting kicked by the donkey.
Are we sometimes to proud to be in a family who will help and guide us along the way? For a lot of us, rather be in our own circle, and remain in that private circle.
This week, after lots of thinking, the one thing I've come to realize, with being a christian, is that, I'm really part of a bigger family. Sometimes, it's hard to see that. Sometimes, we treat each other just as friends, or just another person on the street.
Truth be told, is that, it isn't really true.
I believe, a christian can be so unlikeable to the point of risking strangulation, but still when in need, will be helped by fellow brothers or sisters (of course, they have to know that this person is in trouble). Why? Some might say, it's because they are all christians and they should do good, or purely because of namesake that they ARE christians. I used to want to believe that there is a greater bond than that. Now, I know for sure, it is purely for the reason that, we are of the same family, the same Father.
How DID I come to this conclusion?
When I was younger, more stubborn, more irritating, a rebel, I remember of people who stood by me and guided me, even when I refused guidance. Really. I was quite the stubborn donkey.
Now, it's my turn to lead and chance getting kicked by the donkey.
Are we sometimes to proud to be in a family who will help and guide us along the way? For a lot of us, rather be in our own circle, and remain in that private circle.
Monday, August 13, 2007
you know you are...
hanging out with girls too much when:
1. The only people on your text and call list are mostly girls.
2. You start acting like them, ie: learn how to merajuk (although not all girls are like that). My fav look from them is still -.- HAHA, or start to sigh a lot.
3. They ask you, or rather BUG you to show them a picture of yourself cross dressed.
4. Soon enough, you'll be recruited into the yaya sisterhood or the sisterhood of the traveling pants or what not.
5. Start playing with hair, twisting hair with finger.
6. Blinking eyes to make that 'cute' look.
I'm stopping here, for risk of getting 'whacked', 'scratched' or given dirty looks. Just in case: this is just humor, not meant to pick on anyone in particular. So, please, don't send me msgs about me being sexist, or rude or etc.
1. The only people on your text and call list are mostly girls.
2. You start acting like them, ie: learn how to merajuk (although not all girls are like that). My fav look from them is still -.- HAHA, or start to sigh a lot.
3. They ask you, or rather BUG you to show them a picture of yourself cross dressed.
4. Soon enough, you'll be recruited into the yaya sisterhood or the sisterhood of the traveling pants or what not.
5. Start playing with hair, twisting hair with finger.
6. Blinking eyes to make that 'cute' look.
I'm stopping here, for risk of getting 'whacked', 'scratched' or given dirty looks. Just in case: this is just humor, not meant to pick on anyone in particular. So, please, don't send me msgs about me being sexist, or rude or etc.
Friday, August 10, 2007
clarification
About my previous blog entry...
Yeah.... it's YOU, I HATE YOU!
Just kidding.
I wanted to clarify, I was just trying to illustrate my point on loving and shepherding all of God's children. Yes. I know. It means, the believers, but I also see it as everyone. (There can be bad sheep who don't listen to the shepherd right?). I was just trying to say, I am compelled to love all, despite qualities I dislike (to put in daintily). It's just in line with the whole, God loves you no matter who you are, in spite of race, color, culture, background, how one lives their life.
***
On other matters, I must say, the members in my life group are IMPRESSIVE! I know it might not mean much, but if this was a performance, I would give all of you a standing ovation. This people were sensational, from giving up their time, car (I'm so sorry about your car, I really hope your dad doesn't kill you, because if he does, I don't mind taking your place. Sorry!), their place, their culinary skills, invitational skills, their talking skills and what not. God bless them over and over again until their stores houses overflow.
I really do hope we managed to bless the new students who came in. I remember first coming to IMU, and how it was a very very strange place to me. I remember, trying to get friends by doing things for their approval. Peer pressure. What else. I hope that these people will bring back a little something as they go home, and also to trigger them into letting (if even a little) the God factor in their lives.
People of IMU LG, you did beyond awesome tonight, you performed better than the best entertainers on stage. You did what was pleasing in God's eyes, and all heaven is rejoicing.
Good job!
Yeah.... it's YOU, I HATE YOU!
Just kidding.
I wanted to clarify, I was just trying to illustrate my point on loving and shepherding all of God's children. Yes. I know. It means, the believers, but I also see it as everyone. (There can be bad sheep who don't listen to the shepherd right?). I was just trying to say, I am compelled to love all, despite qualities I dislike (to put in daintily). It's just in line with the whole, God loves you no matter who you are, in spite of race, color, culture, background, how one lives their life.
***
On other matters, I must say, the members in my life group are IMPRESSIVE! I know it might not mean much, but if this was a performance, I would give all of you a standing ovation. This people were sensational, from giving up their time, car (I'm so sorry about your car, I really hope your dad doesn't kill you, because if he does, I don't mind taking your place. Sorry!), their place, their culinary skills, invitational skills, their talking skills and what not. God bless them over and over again until their stores houses overflow.
I really do hope we managed to bless the new students who came in. I remember first coming to IMU, and how it was a very very strange place to me. I remember, trying to get friends by doing things for their approval. Peer pressure. What else. I hope that these people will bring back a little something as they go home, and also to trigger them into letting (if even a little) the God factor in their lives.
People of IMU LG, you did beyond awesome tonight, you performed better than the best entertainers on stage. You did what was pleasing in God's eyes, and all heaven is rejoicing.
Good job!
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
i hate....
I hate people who don't think, but just shoot their mouth. I hate how people try to take advantage of me when I'm nice. I hate how nasty people can be when I'm being polite. I hate smart comments for the sake of it, or for the sake of argument, just to show who's on top and who's boss. I hate people who don't get their facts right and assume.
I hate... I hate... I hate...I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate...I hate... I hate... I hate...
I hate... I hate... I hate...I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate...I hate... I hate... I hate...
I hate... I hate... I hate...I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate...I hate... I hate... I hate...
I hate... I hate... I hate...I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate...I hate... I hate... I hate...
I hate... I hate... I hate...I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate...I hate... I hate... I hate...
It's so easy to hate or dislike somethings. Just as I was unwinding after a long day (although not the end), God spoke to me very clearly. It was a reminder.
John 21:15-17
When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?"
"Yes, Lord," he said," you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."
Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?"
He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."
The third time he said to him, " Simon son of John, do you love me?"
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Feed my sheep...
Do I really love His sheep? Am I doing what He would do? I'm trying my level best. It's really easy not to love people especially, when they bug you about things and you have a million other things to do. Or if something else takes priorities, ie: books. It's convenient to love someone when they are in fact, loveable, and when they don't disobey you.
How can I best paint this picture?
Do I say I love Jesus?
Then, am I feeding His sheep?
I hate... I hate... I hate...I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate...I hate... I hate... I hate...
I hate... I hate... I hate...I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate...I hate... I hate... I hate...
I hate... I hate... I hate...I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate...I hate... I hate... I hate...
I hate... I hate... I hate...I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate...I hate... I hate... I hate...
I hate... I hate... I hate...I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate... I hate...I hate... I hate... I hate...
It's so easy to hate or dislike somethings. Just as I was unwinding after a long day (although not the end), God spoke to me very clearly. It was a reminder.
John 21:15-17
When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?"
"Yes, Lord," he said," you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."
Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?"
He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."
The third time he said to him, " Simon son of John, do you love me?"
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Feed my sheep...
Do I really love His sheep? Am I doing what He would do? I'm trying my level best. It's really easy not to love people especially, when they bug you about things and you have a million other things to do. Or if something else takes priorities, ie: books. It's convenient to love someone when they are in fact, loveable, and when they don't disobey you.
How can I best paint this picture?
Do I say I love Jesus?
Then, am I feeding His sheep?
Sunday, August 05, 2007
tired, but fulfilled
I must say. It has been a long 2-3 weeks. So many things that happen, but I must say, God's words has never rung so loud and so clear.
It has been tough. Tough to humble myself, swallow my own pride, to allow God to do the things He does. No more complaining out loud, no more whining to people how certain people react and how I don't like it.
Why?
Simply because I'm learning to edify people.
I knew it was never simple to raise, rally or reach people, but today, I realized it was more difficult than I thought. I am learning to appreciate my leaders on a higher level now.
Today, as I sang in worship to God, the song Here I Am (by 1 A.M.), I really surrendered all. I felt I managed to come to a place, where I was truly at peace in God's presence.
This bit especially:
You said in Your word, oh God
You have many plans for me
Plans of hope, plans of peace
I will soar above each and every storm
and live the dreams You have for me
I lay my life for You, I set my faith in You
So, I did. Whichever that I have not surrendered, I did. If I had not obeyed, I will.
I hold to this verse true: John 10:10
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
Time to claim the fullness that God has offered.
It has been tough. Tough to humble myself, swallow my own pride, to allow God to do the things He does. No more complaining out loud, no more whining to people how certain people react and how I don't like it.
Why?
Simply because I'm learning to edify people.
I knew it was never simple to raise, rally or reach people, but today, I realized it was more difficult than I thought. I am learning to appreciate my leaders on a higher level now.
Today, as I sang in worship to God, the song Here I Am (by 1 A.M.), I really surrendered all. I felt I managed to come to a place, where I was truly at peace in God's presence.
This bit especially:
You said in Your word, oh God
You have many plans for me
Plans of hope, plans of peace
I will soar above each and every storm
and live the dreams You have for me
I lay my life for You, I set my faith in You
So, I did. Whichever that I have not surrendered, I did. If I had not obeyed, I will.
I hold to this verse true: John 10:10
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
Time to claim the fullness that God has offered.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
one more day
One more day. That day is finally here. My exams.
breath breath breath....
This past few weeks have been very confusing for me. There are times where I just didn't want to do anything anymore, and totally give up. Coming home yesterday in Kareem's car, we were chatting, and I told him, although I feel like I'm not totally prepared for this exam, it has been a fulfilling two weeks.
It's a different season for me, as I come to believe that God will bless me and put me in the right place. It's always easy to say, it will not happen and feel it's impossible, and HOPE that God will bless us if we come humbly enough (to the point we profess that we cannot make it through).
Through the whole day yesterday, as the enemy sent people in my midst to discourage me, I kept thinking of this verse:
John 20:29 Then Jesus told him," Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."
I don't want to come and appear all full of faith only after I get my results and do sufficiently well. I don't want to cower in fear, and go on day by day, with hopes that my God will bless me.
I want to appear even before my exams, with full knowledge that my God is with me (who can be against me?). To believe before I see. That's what I need and want to do.
breath breath breath....
This past few weeks have been very confusing for me. There are times where I just didn't want to do anything anymore, and totally give up. Coming home yesterday in Kareem's car, we were chatting, and I told him, although I feel like I'm not totally prepared for this exam, it has been a fulfilling two weeks.
It's a different season for me, as I come to believe that God will bless me and put me in the right place. It's always easy to say, it will not happen and feel it's impossible, and HOPE that God will bless us if we come humbly enough (to the point we profess that we cannot make it through).
Through the whole day yesterday, as the enemy sent people in my midst to discourage me, I kept thinking of this verse:
John 20:29 Then Jesus told him," Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."
I don't want to come and appear all full of faith only after I get my results and do sufficiently well. I don't want to cower in fear, and go on day by day, with hopes that my God will bless me.
I want to appear even before my exams, with full knowledge that my God is with me (who can be against me?). To believe before I see. That's what I need and want to do.
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