the modern family

She took the bag out from the freezer, rushed for time, she was just going to prepare a simple quick meal for the family.

"Fries and hamburgers", she thought to herself. Easy, quick, and her kids will have no complaints.

She had no choice, she had a busy day at work, then soon, she had to send Ling to her tutor's house for extra classes and Jon to a friend's birthday party. Her husband is stuck in his office. Another long meeting for an upcoming project.

Day in day out, it was always busy at the Tan's residence. Everyone had their schedule full, and especially extra hectic for the working mother. Some nights, dinner was just take out from the nearby fast food restaurant. If diet was how a family was identified, one would not have thought that the Tans were chinese.

As far as she could think back, they have had not many authentic chinese food, unless those from the local chinese restaurants that swears a hundered and ten percent authenticity, and provides a fortune cookie for each person just to prove the point. The last time she really had any good chinese food, was when she was little, and her mother cooked all the meals.

Dumplings, steamed pork, mixed vegetables with mushrooms, a day long boiled soup, food that seems to have disappeared from her daily meals simply because of lack of time. Simply because she had not learnt how to cook it. She never thought it was a skill she had to pick up.

Now, this culture of culinary, may just be gone forever. Killed by convenience, the lack of time, or Westernization? Soon, all foods will be the same, and all cultures merged to one. Hopefully, not in my generation.

not just a choice of words

Quite recently, those who are close to me, would realize that my favorite word is choice. I started using this word a lot because I came to realization that a lot of things are just a matter of choice, whether one does something or not, it's a choice, and I've really come to feel that no one can really force you to do something because it always ALWAYS boils down to: what will you choose to do.
Of course, each choice has it's consequences and hence, one's excuse of not performing a task sometimes.

Yesterday, I found 'affection' for another word. The word 'delibrate' came to my attention, and as I thought about it, I started to evaluate myself. How delibrate am I in doing certain things? I say I plan my day out and try to do most of the things I do, but sometimes I just go with the flow. It has come to point in my life, that this is no longer effective. I cannot go prancing in the sunlight hoping that I may stumble upon some treasure along the way, or hope to get doughnuts by throwing flour and sugar into a bowl. If I want to achieve something, I have to work out the steps and then, perform them.

Hmm. Don't know why it wasn't as clear before. Maybe I forgot to remove the scales of my eyes first. :p

First, I have to make a choice, then I have to be delibrate about it.

Time for some change around here.

quick updates

Just some quick updates. It's not that I'm too busy, just that my brain is a little too fried up at the moment.

1. My nose hasn't stopped running (not that you really wanted to know htat) and my eyes get red every so often. Yippee! I'm allergic to Malaysia.
2. I've registered for a whole bunch of exams. First one is in Aug. Next one is prob in Sept. Have to work hard and do well. If not, I can kiss residency in the States good bye. Prayers please? :)
3. Getting back in pace, in church here, has been hard, but nonetheless, it's good to be back. I'm being careful about my time.
4. My days are now consistently made of books, meals, meeting people and reading (oh wait, that's the same as books isn't it?). I just pray to God, that I can still be purposeful in the midst of all this.
5. i've also been wondering about friends in Halifax, especially Karemy, who've apparently been too busy to keep in touch. Haha

Hmm. The sneezing has started. Nothing a little anti-histamine and coffee can't fix. Or sleep. Or lazing around. :p

things that irk me

1. I guess the number 1 thing that really bothers me is how the word 'can' is unnecessarily added to a sentence. Wait. I didn't put that right. How 'can' is put at the end of a sentence.
For example:
Wah, that driver is horrible, can?
That baby is so cute, can?
She bought so many at one go, can?
Ugh...... the worse is, I shared it with my sister, and once in a while when she remembers she bugs me about it by adding an extra sentence just to fit it in.

2. Malaysian drivers are evil. They don't signal, and when one is trying to turn out onto the road, instead of slowing down and giving way, they speed up and try to hit you.
Malaysian drivers are evil, can? (Argh, I've caught the disease)

3. The air. My nose is like a leaky faucet. Only, it doesn't drip water. Well, I don't have to share too much here for you to get the pic do I? It doesn't help that people are allowed to smoke at eateries (the cheaper ones anyways).

4. Food portions that are small, albeit it not being cheap. This leads to me spending more, just to get a good fill. And when I mean good fill, I mean, enough for me not to get hungry 4 hours post meal. Large pizza here is only 12" vs the 16" I'm used to.

5. Traffic jams. Man. Just to get out of the housing area during a peak hour, it takes about 15 minutes. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I miss the good old days of walking.

6. The heat. Need I say more? I'm melting........ meltinggggggggggg......

I know I know, full of complaints aren't I? Well, there are many good things here too, that I'm happy I'm home for. Good friends, good food, and family (not necessarily in that order). I know the Lord has and will bless me wherever I go, and that in itself, is better than any other thing.

5240 Kent St

Jeremy: Ian's hair looks tasty
Taky: Chris is mine.
Anthony: No, he is MINE.
Chris: Guys, there's plenty of me to go around.
Dickson: Are we taking a picture yet? Is there something in my teeth?

in love

Before I proceed to misled anyone, I must clarify, this post is not about me falling in love. :p

Now moving on to business.

Talking about love has always produced many ideas. I have heard of so many discussions about love, whether it's about a BG relationship, a child-parent kind of love, and of course there is also the God and us kind of love. (There's a whole long list for types of love, but I'm not going to dive in that direction. Not today anyways).

During yesterday's campus meeting, there was the discussion of love, because there was a brief discussion about BG relationship. When love and the bible comes into discussion, I believe most people would instantly think about 1 Cor 13 (Myself at least anyways). Many years ago, if you would to ask me, I would say it is a feeling. That's why, when it's silent, I feel like I'm not being loved, or I'm not loving God. It's also the same reason I use, that everytime I feel a weird euphoric, I claim I am in love. (Hmmm, a bit shallow I was).

I will always remember during Stephen's stag party, when Josh gave him the advice, that love is not a feeling, that love is a choice, I came to realization that my version of love was somewhat incorrect. It makes a little more sense then that love is patient, love is kind etc, because all this are not innate capabilities. In verse 7 of 1Cor13, it goes on to say, "It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Now, I always used to think that it's only natural that when one loves another, they will protect them from harm, from evil and the whole nine yards. Whether it is family, or a relationship.

Then, this was quoted during the campus meeting yesterday.
Philippians 1:9-11
And this is my prayer:that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ - to the glory and praise of God.

It speaks on many levels. The one that we talked about yesterday, is between opposite genders. To love a fellow brother or sister, one must be also aware, that in true love, one does not stumble the other, being in friendship or courtship. To discern what is best for one another, and not just for oneself. Love is not self seeking.

Even among friends, a great love between friends, would mean doing things in such a way that it will not cause another to fall. It means, watching each other's language, watching each other's actions. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

Hmm. I guess, I really have to be careful with what I say, or what I do. For truly, when we choose to love someone, we must also be committed to build that person, and not cause them to fall.

Does that make sense?

in my new office

Well. Not really. The office was meant to be in inverted comas, I do not have a real office. Just some small space tucked away in a not so little corner of my sister's apartment. I just call it my office because, this is where I would be spending a lot of my time for the next little while.

The weekend was a good one. Had done some studying, gone back to church for the SNL service (Sat Night Life), ate breakfast with my sister and then, went for a wedding in Genting, spend my whole night playing board games until the break of dawn, and then extended my weekend by crashing in bed for the rest of Monday.

The wedding was a rare concept (to my knowledge) carried out in Malaysia. It was a garden wedding, but unfortunately, it rained pretty heavy halfway through the ceremony. The guests in their sundresses, shirt/blazer or batik, had to run for shelter while the wedding went on. They had to skip right to the exchange of vows, while fellow church mates held unbrellas for the couple and the pastor.

You'd probably be asking yourself right now, why would I be blogging about this. Two reasons actually, one being the groom was my ex-discpler, so we're pretty tight (? haha). The other reason, was it gave me more time to contemplate about my own life. No, I'm not going to get all teary eyed and whiny, and complain about getting old. Watching fellow friends getting married, and moving into different circles of life (couple friends group) and what not, it sometimes irks me, but it also reminds me, I'm moving on with life.

Hence, the new look on my blog. I hope however, it's not just the look that changes, but the content in this blog here now on. Well, only time will tell eh?

back for only so many days and already...

Already more than a dozen thigns to complain about. Drivers not signaling when they drive, the heat, horrible internet connection.... among the many things that I have been complaining about, aloud or silently. Although, I've told myself to stop complaining, I'm finding it hard. I guess I'll survive, if I really want to, and somethings can't be changed, and hence I'll just have to live with it.

Today, I joined my ex-uni's lifegroup to observe (for those in Canada, the life group is like the cell group, or like our fellowship). It was really different. The one thing I enjoyed in Canada, is the discussion we had. Though, I have to say, the person who led today, was quite a good teacher. I just wonder if everyone really listened and paid attention. Hard to tell when no one really responds, but looking back at how I used to be one who would sit and listen to the cell group leader talk or teach, I can understand how hard it is to get through to people sometimes. Especially when you have someone like me, who only likes to remember things when it's of importance.

I call it, saving my memory space. :p

It's odd how I treat my brain like a hard disk with only so much capacity.

Moving on to other topics, just a few more days and I'll be able to open my guitar case. My fingers are itching already.

Only one thing remains, how should I serve my local church here?

day 3

It's been my third day back home, and it's been pretty good so far, except for the fact, come 2pm daily, I feel like I need a quick shut eye. However, it's a fight to go to sleep, as the body doesn't quite correlate with the mind, PLUS the fact that there's drilling during the day, doesn't help with me trying to go to bed. AND when I finally do, I can't wake up.

That's it! My last straw, I'm going to have to infuse coffee into myself, until I stay wide awake and sober.

ZZZzzzZZzzz

touchdown

I'm home. Words can't describe the feeling. Truly in the past few days, it has been a bittersweet experience. The minute everyone said their last goodbyes, it was such a surreal feeling. It was truly the last goodbye. For now anyways. It was tough because, as I said before, I don't know when I'll ever see this people again.

I must confess, God has been good to me. Really good to me. The more I think about it, the more I see, and I come to realize, for every single path that I've taken, if it were to be hard, God truly truly never forsake me nor left me. Even though I complained, God didn't. He saw me through. I will always remember how I arrived in Halifax lonely and had to stand up for myself. God not only helped me to learn to be independent, but He knew when I could no longer bear it anymore, He sent me friends. I passed my exam, and graduated with a degree. He thought me many life lessons, one being that truly, God loves all of us, and He has entrusted this love through friendships, through humans.

Now the other long stretch, studying for USMLEs and what not. I must say this, I have grown to trust Him more. I will go wherever He takes me. I hope I remember this vow.

Thanks God, for bringing me through. I am here, only by Your grace and mercy.