Tuesday, October 24, 2006

all grown up (?)

It has been more than a year, since I have been in any kind of BG relationship. No crushes, no attempts, no relationships. I would have to say, it's been a long while since I've been this 'free'. This happened mostly because I realised that, now is really not a good time. I took the time to convince myself that there are more important things to do for now, and being in a relationship can really impede that.
Of course, among some of those important things, I've only done half of them, but I will leave that out for another day.

Now, in the past few weeks/months, it's been heavily weighing on my mind. To do or not to do, that is the question. And to do what? To actualyl start looking of course!

However, what also comes to mind each time I think about this, are a couple of things.

You know how, since Jerry Maguire, people use the words "You complete me", every so often just to win the opposite sex's love/attention etc. And I know people who think the exact same way, including me (in the past). Then I came to realise, not one single human can do that, or should do that. You see, the whole better half idea, is... well, wrong. We are all supposed to be complete beings in Christ. So, my whole idea of finding someone for companionship or because I am lonely, doesn't work.

There is also this thought, that I'm still too selfish at this moment. If I can't give without thinking about myself, I consider myself to be selfish. I think if I can't give enough in a relationship, it's once again, I would be in a relationship for the wrong reasons: like wanting a girlfriend just because and for no particular reason.

Lastly, lust is a big issue which I have to overcome. I'm not saying that I must be 100% clear and pure in my thoughts, but as much as possible, I need to look and speak to a woman with proper respect. (Hope that didn't come out funny).

After all said and done, if the right person comes along, I'm definitely going to make my move, but until then? I'll continue improving and growing in certain aspects.

10 comments:

JWo said...

Well written! About the second point - the more unselfish you are before the relationship the better because once you get married your realize how selfish you really are!

peasantboy said...

haha. thanks Josh. but it's true. we are quite selfish being. until u are in a relationship where u truly give other ppl b4 urself, right now? it's like everything's about me.. me first... which is not good

deb said...

good points. I'm in agreement. here's another thought: God uses other people to teach you to be less selfish. for example, in a marriage, your spouse teaches you servanthood and humility... that being said, I think it's wise to prepare oneself for that point but I guess it's good to know that absolute humility may not be achieved unless you get married if in fact, marriage is what God has intended for you. if not, and singleness is God's calling in your life, then this doesn't apply.

Judeeeee said...

God has a plan for you, and there is no need to worry about something that is not under your control. But at least it is good that you notice your problem, so that you can improve it if it is necessary. Keep the good work =D!!!

lishun said...

more consolation for being single, eh? =P

anyway, just keep doing what you're doing. God will send the right one down your path if you walk the path you're supposed to. stick to it. you're doing a good job.

peasantboy said...

more good points.
thanks for the 'consolation' lishun...
haha...

the time will come eh? it's good to be single for now... funny how i've changed from pro relationship to pro single
hahaha

lishun said...

it's not so much pro-single...it's more...um...pro-faith that everything will come in its own time, and anti-taking matters into your own hands.

no?

peasantboy said...

well yes i guess. what u say is true... i think
haha

@ster said...

if its any consolation...im STILL SINGLE TOO!! hahahahaha...

But i must say that at times it is hard to remember God's promises for u...esp so when loneliness and temptation kicks in...and then u start wondering if God has forgotten u or maybe u shud help Him along..and maybe its been such a long time and u been so very good (by YOUR standards).[encouraging post since i was feeling all the above! haha]

Ah, but that is when prayer and faith steps in. ^_^

Thanks for reminding me again why i shud STAY single...hahaha=p

peasantboy said...

esther... consolation ? haha. okay will keep that in mind :)
well. good to know the post has its good advice or good discussion with ppl