Tuesday, October 17, 2006

one too many things

When the mind is in a blur, and one knows not but to think about himself and his loneliness, what else can he do? He thinks about it day and night.

Yes Bern, get over it. But you of all people know sometimes somethings are not easily gotten over. I don't have to give examples now do I ? ;)

Thanks for the concern and advice, friends. I have come to realise, it's been an integral part of me to be so melancholic, sometimes so much so, it would seem like I'm basking in my own sadness. Sounds really, overdramatic. I guess that's why I sing 'All by myself' so much. Not because I am alone (although, I do feel lonely at times), it's because I overdramatize my sadness. (Or am I?)

Thinking about the past few weeks and thinking about the posts that I wrote, I wonder if I just sometimes enjoy it a little too much, being miserable. Maybe I like self pity. Maybe I like to wallow in self pity. Who knows?

My only explaination is that, I am like that. It's not that I'm proud to be a pessimist, or to sound so depressed. I guess I'm just like that? Can't quite seem to change the dim outlook to life...

Maybe I need to dim sum (dim some... geddit? hahahaha..... *silence*)

:p

3 comments:

M said...

That was a good post Ian.

deb said...

as a person prone to melancholy, I would say that a predisposition to realism, borderline pessimism, should be and can be balanced with a thankful heart towards God.

peasantboy said...

thanks mona.
yes, it can be, and i am thankful at the end of the day, because i appreciate things a little better.
just like someone who has lost their touch sensation, then regains it back