the buzz

Every year, I go through this akward phase of reflection. I notice, this is also when I start to get lazy. I find it so weird and at the same time so hard, to chose being doing good and doing bad. Ah. A year has passed since I've been here overseas. No real change in my life. Well. As far as running away, I know and it has been proven time and time again, it never works, and this time around, I learn the exact same moral. It's not going to change. Wherever you go, there are weird people. It's just how you tackle it.

If life was a charging bull, do you grab it by the horns or do you let it hit you over and over again? Right now, sometimes, I feel I'm being rammed by over and over again. No. The answer to your question, IF be it that something bad's happening to me right now. Nothing is happening. And that's the exact problem isn't it? Nothing isn't good. Nothingness as the silent night, where not even crickets make their musical sounds. The kind of quiet, when not even a whisper, not even a pin drop is heard. Ahhh, the drama unfolds, as the 'prince' sits and contemplate.

I know, this blog may sound a little too emotional, or even selfish, and at many times not make sense at all.

Ah. The drama unfolds. :)

Few days ago, the doctor was telling my questions that he had asked in an interview for entry to med school. The question was: "What would you do differently if you had a choice to make a change in your life?"

What would I do differently? Sometimes, I do wonder, what happens if I took on the bad a$$ attitude instead of this? Like, being retardedly sarcastic and cycnical towards everything and everyone. Crap. If someone had said something nasty to me, I really do wish to ram it down their own throats sometimes, instead of going, sorry you felt that way. I find it hard to play the collective calm and cool character anymore.

So, this year, like a reality show on tv, which path should someone choose?

Dramatic isn't it ? Haha. I already know the answer. Just convincing myself that it is more beneficial to stay on this one than the other. Aiks, don't worry, I'm not switching sides. Just contemplating.

Need to talk to God......