In view of my recent outbursts of rubbish written, I have decided to write more substantial.
When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.
Ah, a saying I suspect so famililar to most. When I think of that, or I hear about that, I then respond: Where do I get the juicer? Sugar? Glasses?
You see, I'm always the pessimist, and I find most times, hard to believe my good fortune, and I begin questioning everything else that I have and get.
For instance, getting into 4th year, is so surreal. Am I really here?
Sometimes, I question the things around me.
Problem with this kind of attitude is, sometimes, things can get very very lonely. When you question everything, it's hard to trust people and connecting to people can be on a very superficial basis only. I don't know who is reading my blog, and who will be offended by this statement, but think about it, if I'm your friend, and you mine, how much do we know about each other? Or can we all think about the good times only and how to entertain each other? How much of my friendship is about helping someone when they really need my help? Or vice versa? Or am I a user of people?
Honestly, can someone tell me what they think? I'd really like to know? Am I just some guy who is there when there is fun, or am I one who would stick with his friends through thick and thin? Or, am I a guy, who plainly uses people?
Confession: I feel like I'm selfish, and I use people. That's why, in my deepest sadest moments, no one knows why or what I'm feeling.
Sad, in a twisted way, sometimes, I'm not any more bothered.
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6 comments:
not true. when you get a lemon, you can make lemon meringue, lemon pie, lemon squeezed over fish and chips for that matter. What you want to make, you work at it either to learn how to make it or to use it in the best way possible.
life is not just a auto response to everything. Thinking and questioning are both vital to grow and mature. You're right in that too much thinking can be more harm than good sometimes, however, in the end you make your own decisions based on your principles (which in your case, would probably involve God).
And speaking for myself, I've always seen you as someone who sticks by people. True, I may not qualify to say that, seeing as I've hardly seen you for some time, but then again, do people who see each other often automatically mean they stick by each other?
it's not that people don't know how you really feel because you use them. it's simply because you CHOOSE not to let them know.
superficial friendships remain superficial because there's no mutual desire to take it any deeper. but think about the friendships that you know you treasure because they're worth more than any other relationship you can recall. there has to be some kind of reciprocration there.
so it's alot about choice and what you value most, rather than about using people. you can't use someone unless he or she is perfectly happy or apathetic about being used.
ah...i have pondered the same questions that you have. friends...what to make of it? it's hard to make good friends knowing that someday you may no longer be there in the same place in a short while...
i believe i have i keen sense...haha...on being able to see through them and i can see that you would not be one that uses people. i believe that i choose my friends and in return friends choose me. if i really wanted somebody as a friend, i will take much initiative and effort. and this effort and initiative stems from knowing that this friendship can last no matter together or apart.
to comment on your last post as well...
linus: what do you do charlie when you face a problem?
charlie: i wait
linus: you wait until you figure out a wise decision on how to solve it?
charlie: no, i wait and hope that the problem goes away
haha...yes...i agree with charlie...
and when life hands you a lemon,
give it an apple to return the favour...or don't be stingy...give it a fruit basket...haha
You're an idiot. Get over yourself. =) Take the hard truth!
i don't think you're alone. we all conceal something of ourselves for whatever reason. for me, i often do it to hide my failures and pains. and when we conceal things between friends, sometimes the friendships feel superficial. give and take. rare it is to find someone who reciprocates enough that you feel that your vulnerabilites won't repulse them away. the simple fact that you've even taken a moment to think about what friendship means shows that you're not a callous friend. others would just take the lemon, forget about it until it moulds and eventually throw it away. at least you've picked it up and pondered about.
The question about friends is one that I have thought more than once because of the different types of friends you come across - long d, local ones, brief friendships and long friendships. I believe that you should treat all people the same, but you really have to choose who you spend your time with because you can't be the same friend to everyone.
At the same time, to deepen a friendship, you have to be vulnerable. And to get to that point, you need to take the initiative to be vulnerable and not wait for the other to do it. That is why I think you have to choose your friends wisely cause you can't be vulnerable to everyone. ;)
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